Baffled as a Buffalo

August 17, 2014

53

My childhood was filled with peculiar sayings and expressions. I heard them so many times that I was sure they must have meant something, and equally sure that I was just too dumb to know what it was. Most of these phrases were employed by adults who, in the way of the mid-twentieth century, strove […]

Posted in: In Over My Head

Outta Sight

August 9, 2014

86

“You’re just too cool.” That’s what she said. In fact, those were her exact words, which proves one thing: she’s never met me. No one has ever described me as cool, or any heat level, for that matter. If there were a television show called World’s Least Cool Human Being, I would be the permanent […]

Listen Carefully

August 1, 2014

80

Here’s a thing I’ve noticed. It has to do with accents, but the theory can be applied to a lot of other things, as well: The farther away we are from a place, the more everything seems to look and sound the same. I’ll give you an example, because so far you have no idea what […]

I Thought I’d Never Ask

July 24, 2014

91

Whenever I learn something brand new – when I read a book, watch a documentary, or go on a guided tour – I eventually find myself bothered by a nagging question about the subject. It’s never the same question, but it’s usually one that undermines the entire presentation. And I always think of it too […]

Posted in: In Over My Head

Over the Moon?

July 16, 2014

60

Forty-five years ago, on July 16, 1969, a Saturn-5 rocket was launched from Cape Kennedy on Florida’s northeast coast. Carrying three astronauts, the spacecraft circled the globe one and a half times, then re-ignited its engines and headed toward the moon. Much of the human race watched, excited and nervous. Before Apollo 11, there had […]

Posted in: In Over My Head

Unwavering Ambivalence

July 6, 2014

70

There was a time, when I was a teenager and therefore remarkably witless, that I fell for every crackpot idea that crossed my path. I was certain I had extrasensory perception, could move objects with my mind and see the future, and would eventually figure out how to walk through walls. I believed in ghosts, […]

No Offense

June 27, 2014

133

When I was a kid, we called each other a lot of names. These names were not flattering, but neither did they reflect intense anger. Rather, they were meant to inflict momentary insult, often in response to a perceived slight, a physical injury, or an inconsiderate action. For example, if one of your friends smiled […]

Posted in: In Over My Head
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