Have you been down the shampoo aisle lately? More to the point, when did shampoo rise to the level of deserving its own aisle? Why are there so many different kinds? And as if trying to keep track of the dizzying number of brands and variations of this product weren’t confusing enough, they all suddenly have dopey names like “Color Me Squeaky” and “Tressed to Kill.” (I made those up. I hope.) There’s shampoo for dry hair, oily hair, permed hair, colored hair, curly hair, straight hair, damaged hair, thick hair, thin hair, and the one almost nobody has anymore, normal hair.
Is the vast selection necessary? Or is this another case of consumers falling for marketing razzle-dazzle? Because it’s very likely true that we could get by with five or six different kinds of shampoo. This is detergent we’re talking about, after all. The demand is there, you may be thinking, so what’s the harm? Well, another nibble at the wallet, for one thing. When health & beauty companies decide to introduce a new product line (never just a product, but always a line), the cost in research, development, manufacture, packaging, advertising, and shipping means higher prices for everyone. Even those of us who simply want to wash our hair without making a public statement.
Shampoo is just one example of this trend toward more and more choices. Are you old enough to remember when you could go to the store and buy a bag of potato chips? Now it’s a twenty-minute project: dill pickle, roasted chicken, ketchup, sea salt & peppercorn, zesty jalapeno, garlic with a hint of rosemary, kettle chips, organic chips, thick cut, extra thick cut, baked, low sodium, low calorie, and on and on.
Orange juice. At one time, not that long ago, you could grab a carton of orange juice on the run. Now you need to get a graduate degree in chemistry before you go to the store. There’s pulp-free, low pulp, extra pulp, calcium-enriched, low acid, acid-free, Omega-3, not from concentrate, extra vitamin C plus zinc, light, homestyle and country style, and original.
Same with pain medicine: night-time, daytime, cold & flu, allergy relief, headache, toothache, muscle ache, joint pain, migraine, extra-strength, ultra-strength, aspirin-free, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, naproxen, non-drowsy, fever relief, tablets, capsules, caplets, liquid-gel. Just trying to find the right product can give you a pain somewhere.
How about vacuum cleaners? These are machines that suck dirt off the floor. Next time you have a few hours to waste, go visit the vacuum cleaner section of an appliance store and notice how many different models each company makes. Then take a look at how many different vacuum cleaner bags there are.
The selection mania has even reached the pet department. Can a dog tell the difference between chicken & veal and chicken & beef? Have you ever watched a dog eat? Does any pet need food with the word cuisine in its name? What about the ever-present homestyle? (It’s hard to know what that term means in general, but when it refers to dog food, that’s a real mystery.) There are dog shampoos, too, which is probably a good thing. They don’t have their own aisle yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
Speaking of time, I have my whole day planned out tomorrow: I’m going to buy a bottle of vitamins. Wish me luck.
Mostly Bright Ideas 
Tora
June 2, 2010
You are hilarious! I hope your search for vitamins doesn’t leave you with a search for something to relieve a headache.
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Marie M
June 3, 2010
And I thought this was going to be another post on the SAT. I was pleasantly surprised (not that I don’t like what you write about the test). But I share your pain. Reminds me of a scene in the supermarket in . . . . . Moscow on the Hudson, maybe? It’s a wonder our brains don’t explode from the choices. Not to mention how we are perhaps being trained to desire EXACTLY the [fill in the blank] we want. It’s quite likely that someone, somewhere, will be happy to provide precisely that item, for a price, of course. What does that say about us??
Sorry, the topic of consumerism and greed in all its forms makes me cranky.
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bronxboy55
June 3, 2010
Maybe I should have called it “Multiple Choices” or something that didn’t sound so test-preppy. I think the endless variety has something to do with people feeling special when they have their own brand, as though the manufacturer knows them personally and understands their needs. The other side of that is the trumpeting of these obscure features and ingredients. Garnier’s Fructis Fortifying Shampoo has “nutritive fruit micro-oils.” Herbal Essences Color Me Happy Shampoo has a “fusion of acai berries and satin.” Does anyone go looking for these things? Or are we just impressed by anything that sounds exotic? (Or is it E, none of the above?)
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charlespaolino
June 4, 2010
I appreciated this post because I read from the perspective of my grandfather’s grocery store, where I grew up. Until the late 1950s, folks were content shopping on places like ours. The stock was limited by both the amount of space on the shelves and the range of products that was available, and that seemed to be good enough for most people — even the customers with high incomes. In cereal, for instance, we carried Cheerios, Wheaties, Rice Krispies, Puffed Wheat, Puffed Rice, Shredded Wheat, Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Ralston, Grape Nut Flakes, Wheatina, Cream of Wheat, and both cooked and instant Quaker oatmeal. From as early as I can remember in the 1940s until the store closed in the early 1960s, I think the only cereal we added was Special K. That cereal alone now comes in nine varieties. The same sort of thing can be said about any line of goods — coffee, pasta, baby food, soap. I don’t expect the retail market to remain static, but I agree that marketing has become an end in itself and results in exaggerated claims about products that do no more for the consumer than the things they could buy at a corner grocery back when Teresa Brewer was all the rage.
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bronxboy55
June 4, 2010
Even that list of cereal from your grandfather’s store seems like a nice enough assortment. These days every product line keeps fracturing into more and more varieties. Just yesterday, my wife and I and our son were at the store and they grabbed a bag of Doritos. I don’t remember which, but it was another of those Zesty Cheesy flavors. Every week they add a new one to their lineup, and they all taste the same. Baby food is another good example. And soda. I just checked the Coca Cola website and counted sixteen different kinds of Coke, and that’s not including something called Cocoteen. When did this happen?
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luiscongdon
June 15, 2010
Funny article! I often times joke about picking out Dental Floss at the store, I mean it’s confusing. All the different types, then brands, and all the names companies come up with for the same type of floss. Because I’m pretty bold I don’t have the issue with shampoo 🙂
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bronxboy55
June 15, 2010
It’s affected pretty much every type of product. I wonder how much more time we spend shopping than we did even a few years ago. I spend a good twenty minutes just in the cookie aisle.
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Brown Sugar Britches
July 8, 2011
i hate aisles of the same thing! toothpaste in every color of the rainbow, with all different effects and promises. soap/detergent/shampoo, also in every color of the rainbow, with those crazy made up names that have nothing at all to do with the “effects or promises”. it’s ridiculous. my biggest consumer hate is detergent. ultra versus non-ultra. ultra is a crap-ass word for “concentrate”. it means “to use less”. what?!?!?! so i’m paying more to use less? HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? it literally drives me insane. and the packaging?!?! what’s with all the packaging? can’t i just have a simple bottle “all: free and clear”?? nothing special. nothing perky, silvery, glittery or embossed. i don’t need all of that. i just need to know what’s inside. plain and simple.
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2011
I have good news, BSB: Tide Laundry Detergent now has Acti-Lift. Finally!
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Brown Sugar Britches
July 14, 2011
well cut off my legs and call me shorty! another nothing to add to my list of to-do’s on the thirty-teenth of JuVember. i’m allergic to tide. thank my lucky stars.
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bronxboy55
July 20, 2011
I’m sure there’s a scent-free, low-phosphate, hypo-allergenic variety.
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Wyrd Smythe
January 25, 2013
ROFL!! Bravo!! Nailed it… I want back all those lost minutes trying to decide which potato chip, cracker, cold/headache/cough remedy, BBQ sauce…. ARG!
I solved the shampoo problem by going back to buzz cuts.
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bronxboy55
February 4, 2013
The situation grows ever worse, WS. I bought a bag of Bugles the other day. In huge letters on the front were both of these words: NEW and ORIGINAL. I almost launched into a five-minute Jerry Lewis routine.
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Wyrd Smythe
February 5, 2013
That would have made a most excellent blog post! 🙂
Legally, to use those words, something must have, in fact, been both NEW and ORIGINAL. I wonder what it was.
Maybe they used semi-colons in the ingredients list instead of commas.
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bronxboy55
February 9, 2013
“Maybe they used semi-colons in the ingredients list instead of commas.” I forgot to look there. Now I have to buy another bag.
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Wyrd Smythe
February 9, 2013
The sacrifices we make for research! But it’s important to move forward discovering new information, so thank you for your courage and dedication!!
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