Browsing All posts tagged under »shopping«

Patently Ridiculous

April 19, 2014

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I’m a natural-born inventor. In fact, one of my favorite activities is lying on the couch, staring into space, and dreaming up indispensable products that consumers won’t be able to resist. I do this all the time. It’s a grueling process, fraught with obstacles, delays, and setbacks. For example, occasionally while I’m lying and staring, […]

Across A Crowded Womb

February 7, 2012

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In my very earliest days, I was a sperm. At least this is what I’ve been told. I can’t say for certain, because I don’t remember being a sperm, and it certainly seems like the kind of thing that would stick in the mind. More unbelievable is the idea that I was one of about […]

Bringing Up Daughter

January 27, 2011

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The age-old struggle for supremacy between father and daughter is not well understood. Few scholars have dared approach the subject, preferring to wade into less treacherous waters of study, such as the transmission of plague or the destructive results of being hit by lightning. I have not enjoyed the luxury of such gutless timidity. * […]

Caveat Viator (Let the Traveler Beware)

August 7, 2010

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My wife and I went on a four-day road trip recently. Our destination was less than three hours from home, yet we had never been to this particular part of the country. We set off, armed with the region’s vacation guide, one of those thick books filled with colorful pictures, maps, and dramatic headlines that […]

We Are Not Alone. But Almost.

July 30, 2010

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In a recent post, I briefly mentioned personality tests. These instruments consist of a series of questions designed to make you think about yourself and how you tend to feel and behave in certain situations. Depending on your answers to the questions, you’re assigned a group of traits, usually abbreviated by a single letter each. […]

Maybe It’s Mars That’s Shrinking?

June 19, 2010

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They say the world’s getting smaller. They’ve been saying it for years, but I don’t know. We flew from Rome to New York a few months ago and it took twelve hours. I’ve taken that trip before and don’t remember the flight being that long. I think maybe the world’s getting bigger. I’ll tell you […]

Are You Going to Take That Back?

June 6, 2010

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Still another fuzzy corner of life: What can you return? We have certain conventions in our society, and while we may not have them written down and it’s possible we’ve never even thought about them, we know what they are. For the most part. If you buy twelve cans of cat food, open one, and […]