I want to be the first human to go to Mars. I say this not because I think I’m the most qualified, or because I even have anything to offer a space program that’s been hovering close to death since the shuttle missions of the early eighties. Rather, it seems that no one else really… [Read more…]
May 2, 2012
In 1981, I read a book by someone who was extremely well-known in some obscure field. I can no longer remember his well-known name, so there’s little chance the obscure field will spring to mind. But I do recall that at one point he offered this as his theory of life: “We’re all in constant… [Read more…]
April 24, 2012
I hate talking about the weather. And that’s a problem, because where I live, what’s happening in the atmosphere tends to form the basis for most conversation. The temperature, the lack of rainfall, the blueness of the sky, the level of frost in the ground — it’s incessant, and for me, somewhat bewildering. For one… [Read more…]
April 14, 2012
Predicting the future is a tricky business, and the results are usually less than impressive. Take, for example, all of those world’s fair exhibits that have attempted to portray life even just a couple of decades ahead. What we always get are flying cars, highways devoid of traffic jams, entire meals in a pill, and… [Read more…]
April 4, 2012
Easter approaches once again, and as usual, it arrives at the far edge of a forty-six day cloud of confusion. At least for me. Thinking back on it now, I’m not surprised that I found the entire season incomprehensible. I was baffled by far simpler things — carbon paper, reversible shirts, and those tiny cereal… [Read more…]
March 27, 2012
I bought two chocolate bars last week as part of a school fundraiser. The money was going to pay for band equipment, or hockey gear, or a new flagpole. I don’t really know. The important thing was that I could buy candy and feel good about myself at the same time. Even better, it was… [Read more…]
March 17, 2012
I have no real understanding of the human nervous system, this mass of interconnected cells that I use every second of every day. For example, it baffles me that I can start talking about something, especially in response to a question, without hesitation and with no idea of what’s going to come out of my… [Read more…]
March 7, 2012
I had a wisdom tooth extracted yesterday, although the word extracted is a little misleading. It had to be drilled and cut up, then pulled out in slivers — similar to how you might remove a cork that was stuck too far down the neck of a wine bottle, only with a lot more blood.… [Read more…]
February 28, 2012
I grew up in an Italian household. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, but I also had no choice in the matter. Everyone in the family was Italian. Even the pets. When I was very little, my grandmother had two parakeets that would fly from their open cage to perch on her fingers… [Read more…]
February 16, 2012
I’ve recently been reminded that back in my very earliest days, I was both a sperm and an egg. I had forgotten that small detail, but I don’t feel too bad about it, because it’s something most men have difficulty comprehending. We have a hard enough time interpreting road signs that say “No Turn On… [Read more…]
May 10, 2012
58