Browsing All posts tagged under »infomercials«

Patently Ridiculous

April 19, 2014


I’m a natural-born inventor. In fact, one of my favorite activities is lying on the couch, staring into space, and dreaming up indispensable products that consumers won’t be able to resist. I do this all the time. It’s a grueling process, fraught with obstacles, delays, and setbacks. For example, occasionally while I’m lying and staring, […]

An Endless Wonder

August 14, 2011


As a child, I was puzzled by life. Not to say that I was constantly puzzled. The feeling was tempered now and then by milder states of bafflement, bewilderment, and, on days of relative lucidity, simple confusion. Still, I’d imagine a time off in the distant future of adulthood, when the dust would settle, the […]

When I’m in Charge (Part 2): Infomercials, Dictators, CEOs, and Other Bloodsuckers

May 17, 2011


I hesitate to tamper with an already-fragile economy, but let’s face it: We have enough gadgets that chop vegetables. A new one appears about every six months, and the infomercials always make it sound as though we’ve all been subsisting on potato chips and jelly beans because no one can manage to cut up a […]