Browsing All Posts filed under »In Over My Head«

No Offense

June 27, 2014

133

When I was a kid, we called each other a lot of names. These names were not flattering, but neither did they reflect intense anger. Rather, they were meant to inflict momentary insult, often in response to a perceived slight, a physical injury, or an inconsiderate action. For example, if one of your friends smiled […]

Pick a Career, any Career

June 10, 2014

71

I’ve always wanted to be a magician. I’m not talking about one of those big-name Las Vegas stage performers with the three-year contracts and the expensive haircuts. Those guys are masters of melodrama, and a little too impressed with themselves, if you ask me. Besides, they make aircraft carriers disappear from parking lots, and I […]

Speaking of May 25th

May 25, 2014

52

The twenty-fifth of May is meaningful, because a lot of memorable things in history took place on that date. There’s nothing unusual about that, of course. Important situations can develop quickly, and without warning. This fact is well-documented on many television stations, which provide a continual stream of breaking news, even if that news is […]

The Quick Brown Fox

May 9, 2014

70

I waste a lot of time. So far I’ve gotten away with it, because there always seems to be another tomorrow waiting to replace the yesterday I spent cleaning my keyboard and counting deposit bottles and scrutinizing the checking account statement to identify that mysterious nine-dollar charge. Weeks, months, and entire years have vanished this […]

Patently Ridiculous

April 19, 2014

58

I’m a natural-born inventor. In fact, one of my favorite activities is lying on the couch, staring into space, and dreaming up indispensable products that consumers won’t be able to resist. I do this all the time. It’s a grueling process, fraught with obstacles, delays, and setbacks. For example, occasionally while I’m lying and staring, […]

Plumbing the Depths

April 10, 2014

67

People like to explain how they’re feeling. Without provocation, they’ll tell you how bad their headache is, or how much they love pancakes, or how often they fantasize about murdering their dental hygienist. It’s this tendency to express ourselves to anyone who will listen that propels multi-billion-dollar industries, from social media to psychotherapy to television […]

Month Four, Day One

April 1, 2014

51

It’s the first of April, so it would seem appropriate to discuss the origins of April Fools’ Day. I’d intended to do just that, but when I tried to research the subject, I found it to be so dull that I almost had a near-death experience. In fact, the only interesting thing about the topic […]