People like to explain how they’re feeling. Without provocation, they’ll tell you how bad their headache is, or how much they love pancakes, or how often they fantasize about murdering their dental hygienist. It’s this tendency to express ourselves to anyone who will listen that propels multi-billion-dollar industries, from social media to psychotherapy to television talk shows. It’s also what drives public protests, labor strikes, and group celebrations.
We believe our emotions somehow make us unique. At the same time, we hope that by sharing them, we will become more closely connected with others.
The problem with all of this is that, for most of our existence, our ability to explain what we’re feeling has been limited, hemmed in by a restrictive and superficial set of choices. In fact, since the dawn of humanity, when the first vertebrates crawled out of the sea and began to pursue degrees in social work, we’ve been forced to pick from only six basic emotions – happy, sad, angry, surprised, fearful, and disgusted. A half-dozen words to describe the full and diverse range of life experience. I’d say it’s no wonder so many of us are frustrated, but I can’t, because frustration isn’t one of the options.
Not yet, anyway. But now it appears that help is on the way. According to a recent article in PNAS, the official journal of the National Academy of Sciences, ambitious researchers have identified fifteen new human feelings, which more than triples our potential responses to the world around us. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. In the past, people could get away with simplistic pronouncements:
“I’m sad that President Harding is dead.”
“You seem much less fearful since the lobotomy.”
“Weren’t you surprised when that giraffe was struck by lightning?”
But things are more complicated these days. When our favorite sports team wins a championship, some of us are so overjoyed that we’re compelled to go out into the street and flip minivans upside-down, or hurl solid objects through store windows. These are strange ways to behave after something good happens, and they seem hard to understand. But the new catalog of emotions is equally complex, and therefore up to the task. The delirious fans aren’t merely happy. They’re angrily happy. And that can be an overwhelming situation, and so disorienting that clapping and cheering prove insufficient.
On the other hand, when someone leaves the front door unlocked and a grizzly bear lumbers into the bedroom and begins trying on our favorite sweaters, we may become fearfully angry. We’re terrified of the bear and furious at the person. After the bear leaves, we might find ourselves feeling sadly surprised when we notice that he’s eaten just the tropical fish and some scraps of toast left over from breakfast.
The possibilities, suddenly, are endless.
The article, written by a team of cognitive scientists, explains that these compound emotions are derived by marrying elements from the six basic categories. However, we all know that even the twenty-one resulting combinations won’t be enough. What is it that we’re sensing when we find ourselves trapped in the juice aisle at the supermarket by a former neighbor who insists on giving us a minute-by-minute recap of his recent camping excursion to Death Valley National Park? Faced with that kind of predicament, I typically pass through a series of emotions. I might start out feeling genuinely fascinated, but after about ten minutes I will have moved on to discreetly bored, then impatiently irritated, and if the conversation isn’t over soon, secretly homicidal.
How about when we answer the phone and we’re caught in a survey asking about our latest trip to the bank, or imploring us to rate the oil change we had last week? What about political polls and product reviews? No longer bound by extremely unlikely and somewhat satisfied, we can now fine-tune our responses to more accurately match our deepest sentiments. We’ll be able to say we’re slightly infuriated or depressingly thrilled.
I only wish I could tell you how I feel about that.
The Moon is a Naked Banana
April 10, 2014
Made me laugh out loud. Someone else finally gets it! Or should I say ‘laughed smugly’?
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bronxboy55
April 11, 2014
I’m glad you liked it, although if you read carefully, you’ll see that I don’t really get much of anything.
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anolivedaily
April 10, 2014
I love this! You forgot to add “blogging” to the list of outlets we use to express ourselves to anyone who will listen. It’s the best one if I do say so myself 😉
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bronxboy55
April 11, 2014
I didn’t forget. I was just hoping nobody would notice. But I agree with you, Olive — blogging is unique, especially for the opportunity it provides to connect with people everywhere. There’s really nothing like it.
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Vanessa-Jane Chapman
April 10, 2014
Really funny, when I started reading I was delightfully intrigued, then I was above-averagely amused, and finally mildly disappointed that I had reached the end, but curiously excited about how I might wilfully embrace the spirit of this post in my comment.
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bronxboy55
April 11, 2014
You succeeded, Vanessa. Thank you, again, for your thoughtful feedback.
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Terri S. Vanech
April 10, 2014
You’ve nailed it. Was thinking along the same lines as this idiotic report was in the news last week. And the former journalist in me was depressingly angered and disappointed that it was considered “news.”
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bronxboy55
April 12, 2014
The headline was something like, “Scientists discover new emotions,” as though they were talking about a new planet. The original article was actually about facial expressions — how angrily surprised and happily surprised don’t look the same. Good thing they cleared that up.
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Terri S. Vanech
April 12, 2014
Here’s me, looking depressingly dumbfounded. Oh. That’s my usual look. 🙂
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Chichina
April 10, 2014
As a social worker, I had to laugh about the part of us vertebrates crawling out of the sea and then pursuing a degree in higher learning. I had to look down and ensure I actually had two legs underneath me. Actually we have a rather diverse set of emotions:
Acceptance
Affection
Aggression
Ambivalence
Apathy
Anxiety
Boredom
Compassion
Confusion
Contempt
Depression
Doubt
Ecstasy
Empathy
Envy
Embarrassment
Euphoria
Forgiveness
Frustration
Gratitude
Grief
Guilt
Hatred
Hope
Horror
Hostility
Homesickness
Hunger
Hysteria
Interest
Loneliness
Love
Paranoia
Pity
Pleasure
Pride
Rage
Regret
Remorse
Shame
Suffering
Sympathy
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bronxboy55
April 12, 2014
You should publish this before someone steals it. And if you’re going to use photographs to illustrate the emotions, I’d volunteer to be Confusion.
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Chichina
April 12, 2014
Confusion, you are!
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raeme67
April 10, 2014
I am happily amused at reading this. Good stuff as usual.
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bronxboy55
April 12, 2014
Thanks, Rachael. I’m glad you liked it.
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mysending
April 10, 2014
Simply put: a riot that doesn’t need anything overturned.
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bronxboy55
April 13, 2014
As I always say, well-behaved rioters are the best kind.
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suburbanlife
April 10, 2014
This post left me hysterically delighted during the read and sadly regretful when I reached the end as I had to return to the terminal boredom of my wee life. You absolutely slay me with your wit and humour, especially the unexpected juxtaposition of possibilities. Bravo! (claps with manic enthusiasm!) G
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bronxboy55
April 13, 2014
I think your description of “the terminal boredom” of your “wee life” must be a happily sad exaggeration.
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Kathryn McCullough
April 10, 2014
I’m not happy that my team, UK Wildcats lost the championship. I had to stop watching the game. But who knew we could continue to identify emotions? What gets me is when people misidentify a thought as I feeling.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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bronxboy55
April 13, 2014
As a former Connecticut resident, I have to offer my smugly insincere condolences.
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ranu802
April 10, 2014
Thank you for this post. I enjoyed reading it .
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bronxboy55
April 13, 2014
And thank you, as always, Ranu, for your supportive feedback.
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Betty Londergan
April 10, 2014
I’m genuinely happy I got to read this today — and, as usual, I am jealously impressed with your insight and wit!
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bronxboy55
April 13, 2014
You meant to say “rakish wit,” didn’t you?
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silkpurseproductions
April 10, 2014
Of the six original emotions (not part of the 7 original sins) only 1.5 of them are positive. The point five is “surprise” because that can go either way. It seems we are designed for negative feedback from the get go which explains how we can be “angrily happy”.
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bronxboy55
April 14, 2014
I noticed that, too, Michelle. What about eager, content, hopeful? Aren’t they emotions as much as fearful and angry?
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silkpurseproductions
April 14, 2014
I certainly like to think so. We should just trash all the negative ones and make up some more positive emotions. I realize life is not always a bowl of cherries but I’m starting to get really pissed at the overwhelming amount of negativity out there and how fast it spreads.
I think I just ranted. Did I just rant.
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genusrosa
April 10, 2014
The adverbs just escaped and we have science to thank for it
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bronxboy55
April 14, 2014
And now that they’re out, they’ll start multiplying and soon we’ll be drowning in them.
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earthriderjudyberman
April 10, 2014
Your experience, when trapped by the camper giving you a blow-by-boring blow of their Death Valley excursion mirrors one I once had at a grocery store. Yes, you captured the emotions I quickly ripped thru. Actually I skipped over ‘genuinely fascinated’ and ‘discreetly bored; and honed in on ‘impatiently irritated’ and ‘secretly homicidal.’
Hysterical as usual, Charles. Thanks for the laughs. 😆
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bronxboy55
April 14, 2014
When I find myself on the receiving end of a long and detailed monologue, I always end up asking myself, “Could I ever do what this person is doing right now?” I don’t think I could.
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Stacie Chadwick
April 11, 2014
I second what Chichina says, although as I get older, I’m seriously frustrated when my kids ignore what I tell them to do. Does that count as part of the new paradigm of emotional choice?
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bronxboy55
April 14, 2014
It does count, Stacie. Sooner or later, seriously frustrated will turn into reluctantly resigned. Then, when you’re least expecting it, your adult kids will call you up and ask for your advice about something, and actually listen. And you’ll feel pleasantly shocked.
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morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
April 11, 2014
My husband is a psychiatrist. He told me long ago that people think their situation is so unusual, so unique, one that nobody on the face of the earth has ever experienced. They think he will be fascinated to hear their amazing tale. Guess how many times he’s heard the same story from others? Guess who’s not fascinated to hear it again?
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bronxboy55
April 14, 2014
That’s a skill in itself, isn’t it? Listening to something for the hundredth time and reacting as though you’ve never heard it before.
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thisihumblyspeak
April 12, 2014
No need to explain the range of emotions, feelings, etc., to express my delight in reading this entry. Good one!
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
Delight is good enough for me. Thank you.
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Bruce
April 13, 2014
I wondered if hunger, as with the bear, rates as an emotion. I also wondered, while laughing at the line about first vertebrates, if any social workers would be reading. Both wonders have been answered by Chichina. Why don’t researchers research things we don’t know?
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
I wish I knew, Bruce. We’re constantly amazed by the amount of money spent to study things that seem obvious to most people.
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Doug Bittinge
April 13, 2014
Perhaps we have reached our evolutionary peak and are now degenerating back toward that slime which well crawl back into the pond. Perhaps those first ones should have pursued degrees in mathematics or engineering. Ah well, too late now.
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
I think we may have reached our peak a few centuries ago, Doug. We know more now than we’ve ever known, but what are we doing with that knowledge?
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Barbara Rodgers
April 13, 2014
I, too, miss those days when people paid attention to body language. Resentment – was resentment on the feelings list?
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
No, but it should be. Emotions are like paint colors — there’s one for every situation.
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accidentallyreflective
April 13, 2014
Loved this post just as many of your others. Learnt something new and laughed along the way. Unique 🙂
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
I’m glad you liked it, AR, and thank you for saying so.
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Philster999
April 13, 2014
And here I thought it was going to be about plumbing…
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bronxboy55
April 15, 2014
That would have been a much shorter post.
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Chris12
April 14, 2014
I’m afraid the art of reading people’s body language has nearly been eradicated. Unfortunately it has been replaced with “selfies” and emotionally inflated text messages. Thanks for the post Charles, it was entertaining.
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bronxboy55
April 16, 2014
It’s an interesting idea, isn’t it, Chris? Maybe we’re becoming so reliant on technology that we’re in danger of forgetting how to communicate, both orally and visually.
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icedteawithlemon
April 14, 2014
What is it that I’m sensing on this day before the tax deadline when I find myself making less money than I’ve made in years and yet owing the government more money than I’ve ever dreamed possible? Angrily surprised, aggressively depressed, sadly frustrated, pitifully hostile–and yes, I’d even be “secretly homicidal” if there were someone else to blame other than my own foolish self. Thanks for allowing me to be temporarily amused and forever grateful that no matter how momentarily dire my situation might seem, at least I don’t have grizzly bears raiding my refrigerator.
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bronxboy55
April 16, 2014
I’m sorry to hear about your tax situation, Karen. It doesn’t seem like much of a reward, after so many years of hard work.
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icedteawithlemon
April 16, 2014
And I’m sorry to have littered your feed with such “gloom and doom.” I hadn’t realized my retirement benefits weren’t being taxed sufficiently, and I was throwing myself a pity party. But I have made corrections for next year, the dogwoods are in bloom, and by the end of this beautiful spring day my vegetable garden and flower beds will all be planted, and I will be “happily exhausted.”
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shoreacres
April 14, 2014
I’m not in any way surprised it was a bunch of cognitive therapists that came up with this claptrap. Now that we have computers, everyone wants to program. It’s the social science version of “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
Back when I got my degree in medical social work, it was an honorable and useful profession. But we still didn’t have much time for the social scientists who longed for nothing more than a population of two-legged lab rats.
Let’s see. Could it be I’m feeling surprisingly p-o’d? 😉
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bronxboy55
April 18, 2014
Everyone wants to program and everyone wants a slice of that grant money. Not surprised at all by how you feel.
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rangewriter
April 15, 2014
Adverbs rule…even emotions, it seems. Who knew?
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bronxboy55
April 18, 2014
It’s a relief, isn’t it, to finally identify what we’re feeling?
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marknoo
April 17, 2014
That was delightful. Just lovely.
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bronxboy55
April 18, 2014
So is your comment.
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reneejohnsonwrites
April 18, 2014
For a minute I thought you were talking about us bloggers. Not that we would ever write emotionally engaging posts about our feelings, mind you. But every once in a while…oops. One slips in. And I do love pancakes. I just feel empty about twenty minutes after eating them.
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bronxboy55
April 18, 2014
Blogging is definitely connected to that need to express our feelings. (I love pancakes, too.)
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Sandra Parsons
May 11, 2014
Stimulatingly amused. As always, except now I can express myself more aptly. Therefore, relievedly grateful 🙂
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bronxboy55
May 12, 2014
Speaking of expressing yourself, what’s going on with that blog of yours? I think you’re too content on that new island, and maybe you need to move back to England. (What I’m trying to say is that I miss your writing.)
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Sandra Parsons
May 12, 2014
Yeah, I got the drift, thanks for saying so 🙂 I am just crazy busy right now. Every time I find some time I end up reading all your amazing posts of the last month or so, and then time’s up again 😦 I have a few posts simmering away, almost ready to publish. Sometime this summer, promise!
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bronxboy55
May 13, 2014
No pressure. But I’ll be waiting.
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lostnchina
June 13, 2014
I’m devilishly happy to have read this post first thing in the morning. It was a much better use of my time than despairingly negotiating with my toilet to clean itself. (Again, I’ve mistaken it for my oven.)
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bronxboy55
June 14, 2014
If I made you feel devilishly happy, even for a few minutes, I’ve served my purpose.
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ty le ca cuoc
August 26, 2015
very funny and lovely I like it ..))
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