I’m a problem-solver. When I read or hear about something people are struggling with, I want to help them fix it. When they’re grappling with a difficult question, I want to help them answer it.
A few years ago, I learned that physicists still don’t know how gravity works. I decided that I was up to the task and was sure that I’d solve the mystery, despite the fact that I have no scientific background, and am completely baffled by our self-cleaning oven. What I’ve come up with so far is that gravity uses really long, invisible strands of glue that it shoots out in all directions through space. These strands travel at the speed of light, but somehow don’t make everything sticky along the way. They also aren’t very strong, which leads me to suspect that the actual force may be more like invisible post-it notes, but that’s only a recent conjecture. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to test my theory, because I’ve been busy looking for a solution to another dilemma, and one that’s even more urgent: the ever-worsening energy crisis.
Again, I’m not qualified to do any of this. I like to dabble though, and that’s a good thing, I think. Dabblers are the people who get things done. We don’t spend too much time focused on any one subject, including our own lack of credentials. We also don’t write dissertations or conduct long-term experiments or publish articles in scholarly journals. Those activities can slow you down like you wouldn’t believe, and after a while you can’t even remember what you were trying to do. Rather than in-depth probing and analysis, we prefer to flit around, just above the surface, indulging our endless curiosity and feeding our short attention spans. This allows us to combine ideas and come up with innovative approaches to vexing puzzles.
Back to the energy situation. Our main challenge is that we’re going to run out of oil. This seems like an obvious statement, but judging by the number of drivers I see on the road – especially when I have to get to the bank, or when I’m late for a dentist appointment — we haven’t begun to face reality. As part of my research, I visited the website of an organization called OPEC. I don’t know what OPEC is, but they seem to have something to do with oil, so I’ve decided to use them as a reliable source of information. According to OPEC, the world consumes eighty-five million barrels of oil every day. Can you even picture that? I can, but it isn’t easy. Here’s how I do it:
The country of Egypt has almost exactly eighty-five million people. I visualize in my mind that everyone in Egypt has gone outside to a big field somewhere. Not where the pyramids are, and not in downtown Cairo, but a place that has more room. They stand all lined up, uniformly spaced, so that they form a large rectangle. Then, when everyone is in position, I mentally replace each person with a barrel of oil. And that’s all there is to it. But remember: that’s how much oil we use every day. So tomorrow, we’ll have to go to Ethiopia or Vietnam and do the whole thing all over again.
Okay, now keep in mind that the Earth is a giant sphere, just under eight thousand miles in diameter. Are you having trouble picturing that, too? Here’s how I do it. I look at the globe sitting on my desk. It’s twelve inches across. Then I imagine that it’s getting bigger, like a balloon that I’m blowing up. When it gets to be 418 million times bigger, I stop blowing. And there it is.
The Earth is filled mostly with dirt. You may have already noticed this, especially if you have a flower garden, or if you’ve ever put on brand new white sneakers. It also has a lot of oil, rocks, bones, aluminum cans, priceless baseball cards from the early 1960s, and about two percent magnesium. If we continue to pump oil at the current rate, sooner or later, we’re going to empty out the planet. That’s a fact that no one can refute. If you fill your bathtub with water, then pull the drain plug, pretty soon the water will be gone. As much as I don’t care for experiments, I’ve actually tried this and it really works. And here’s the kicker: We’re using more oil all the time, because there are more people alive now than ever before, and a lot of them are driving those cars made in South Korea, which, I’m sorry to tell you, don’t get anywhere near the fuel economy that the salespeople always point to on the window stickers. Also, there’s not a lot of leg room in the back seat, but that’s a separate issue.
Chichina
December 6, 2013
I know where you are going with this and frankly, I LIKE IT!!!!!
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bronxboy55
December 6, 2013
I’m glad one of us knows where I’m going with it.
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Allan Douglas
December 6, 2013
So THAT’s how it works! Thank you for ‘splainin that to us. (very entertaining too)
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bronxboy55
December 6, 2013
Thanks, Allan. More to come.
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cat
December 6, 2013
I think … one day we might have to return to horse and buggy transportation … and woodstoves warming our homes … if there are any trees left for fire wood by then, that is …
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bronxboy55
December 7, 2013
I think we’ll run out of oil before we run out of trees, cat. It looks as though nuclear power may be unavoidable.
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shoreacres
December 6, 2013
Just remember, cars aren’t the only problem. Take a good look at your computer, for example. Any plastic there? What about your cellphone or iGadget? Etc. And don’t forget the ones who are helping out by driving electric cars. “Ohhhh….”, says my ever-so-green friend. “I don’t use any oil – I have an electric car that I just charge up.” That’s usually the point where I remember I have laundry to do, or need to brush the cat.
(And don’t even get me started on celebs and attention-junkies who love to lecture us on turning our thermostats to 60 while they jet around the world. I guess I did just get started. OK. I’ll stop.)
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bronxboy55
December 7, 2013
Linda, your comment almost sounds as though you’ve already read Part 2.
The celebrities also seem to live in huge mansions when they aren’t jetting around the world or lecturing us about our carbon footprints. And it’s interesting to note that the alarmists’ messages never include the suggestion that we turn off our televisions and DVD players, or that we stop driving to the movie theater to watch the latest action thriller, the one filled with endless chase scenes and explosions.
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laurabecknielsen
December 6, 2013
Well written and I love your visuals! Thank you for caring enough to dabble and share. 😀
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bronxboy55
December 7, 2013
And thank you, Laura, for taking the time to read the post and comment on it. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
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ranu802
December 6, 2013
I must say you are brilliant,anyone with that much brain power can do without scientific experiments. As always I love reading your posts,thank you.
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bronxboy55
December 7, 2013
Thank you again for the kind feedback, Ranu. I hope you’re adjusting to Canadian winters.
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icedteawithlemon
December 6, 2013
I’m a dabbler, too, but my short attention span usually prevents my endless curiosity from solving anything–I’ll leave all that hard work to you. Looking forward to Part 2!
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bronxboy55
December 7, 2013
Thanks, Karen. I hope you won’t be disappointed.
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rangewriter
December 6, 2013
Oh no! Are you implying that WordPress is NOT a scholarly journal? I’m off to the bathtub to try some experiments now…at least I can do that much scholarly stuff.
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bronxboy55
December 8, 2013
Maybe not scholarly, Linda, but much more readable.
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eobonyo
December 6, 2013
Can’t wait for the other episodes.
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bronxboy55
December 8, 2013
And I can’t wait for your reaction to it.
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whywerescrewed
December 6, 2013
I’m not sure how many more years we have left until we run out of oil: but we are going to run out at some point! Oil sands projects in Canada are now economically viable to implement, so you are absolutely correct — it is a case of “squeezing the ketchup bottle”. What’s interesting is some folks at the International Center for Technology Assessment went to the trouble during the late 90s of trying to account for the externalities (including environmental, social, health and other costs) of using gasoline. These folks figured we should be paying something like $5.60 to $15.14 per gallon back when the report was released, so I don’t know what that is in today’s dollars. The problem is, there would be rioting in the streets if those were actual prices. In the end everyone and everything pays for our usage in some way, either through poor health due to air quality problems, climate change, etc.
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bronxboy55
December 8, 2013
And because almost everything we consume is shipped on some fuel-burning vehicle, the prices for those items continue to rise, too. Mass transportation seems to be the obvious answer, but there are more cars on the road than ever. Maybe ten dollars a gallon wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
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silkpurseproductions
December 6, 2013
I guess I am doing my part then. I have been carless since the summer. I don’t like it but at least it is environmentally friendly.
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bronxboy55
December 8, 2013
I know being car-less wasn’t your choice, Michelle, but I would love to be in that category. It means a different lifestyle, though, doesn’t it? Sometimes I think about the amount of money we’ve spent on car insurance, inspections, repairs, gas, oil changes, licenses, registrations, and the price of the car itself, and I feel pretty ridiculous.
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silkpurseproductions
December 8, 2013
Of course you are right, Charles, but there are times I just want to be able to jump in the car and go. Usually it is when I am getting homesick for Niagara Falls. I’ve spent a lot of my life on the road for work and for pleasure. I think I am just overdue for a good road trip.
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KL
December 6, 2013
Very good read. You are right of course, but what are you going to suggest we DO about it?! Surely we “dabbling” problem solvers can sort it out?! And while you are at it, I would very much like a solution to my predictive text bossing me about on my kindle please.
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bronxboy55
December 8, 2013
Kathryn, I had no idea what predictive text was, and had to look it up. Is there no way to turn it off? It bothers me, too. It’s as though you’re speaking too slowly for the device, and it’s trying to finish your sentences for you.
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susielindau
December 6, 2013
You’re able to explain things so clearly. You truly have a gift… 🙂
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bronxboy55
December 9, 2013
Thanks, Susie. It doesn’t always feel that way. In fact, it rarely does. But it’s nice of you to say. I hope you’re doing well.
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Vanessa-Jane Chapman
December 7, 2013
I love the way you’ve explained this you dabbler you! When you think about how much oil we use every day, it really does show how vast the earth’s resources are, or were, to have been able to provide so much for so long. People just assume that it will keep being available, or that someone else will come up with a solution. It’s easier to not think past today.
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bronxboy55
December 9, 2013
I agree. The Earth is much bigger than most of us imagine. Still, it has to be finite, and we will run out of things like oil, coal, and iron eventually. But as you said, it’s easier not to think about that — until we have to.
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Kathryn McCullough
December 7, 2013
Amazing to think we humans could ACTUALLY use up the stuff. Damn people. Seriously, I live in an OPEC nation, and here folks are still looking for new places to drill. Great post!
Blogging from Ecuador,
Kathy
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bronxboy55
December 10, 2013
We may use up the stuff, but will that stop us from drilling, and continuing to look for more?
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Snoring Dog Studio
December 8, 2013
It’s zero degrees here this morning. And I feel guilty that I turned up the thermostat. I realized the other night that it’s awfully cold on the floor, where my doggies live most of the time, when they’re not on the sofa or bed. But when they’re in their doggie beds on the floor, they’re covered up with blankets. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I will say that when the temps go to the extremes, I’m even more acutely aware of how dependent we are on energy sources. And I feel guilty for wanting a warm house.
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bronxboy55
December 10, 2013
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be warm, Jean. I think we’ll be seeing smaller houses in the future, though. North Americans are pretty extravagant when it comes to the number of square feet they seem to require for living space.
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Elyse
December 8, 2013
Charles, you are completely nuts. And very insightful. Because you literally summed up my career as a fake medical professional with this:
“Again, I’m not qualified to do any of this. I like to dabble though, and that’s a good thing, I think. Dabblers are the people who get things done. We don’t spend too much time focused on any one subject, including our own lack of credentials.”
I will use that line when soliciting business from now on.
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bronxboy55
December 11, 2013
Elyse, I really do think it helps sometimes to not know a lot about a subject. This is especially true for a freelance writer who has to explain something to a reader who’s equally uninformed. It’s often the expert who can’t teach, or even communicate, because all that knowledge gets in the way. (Feel free to use that one, too.)
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Elyse
December 11, 2013
It is absolutely true — and literally what I do professionally is get them out of their own way! Knowing which way is up in the human body or how to pronounce (and spell) disease and drug names would be helpful, though.
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Choosing
December 8, 2013
Gravity is a lot of really strong post-it notes? That sounds about right. And I think sometimes they are banding together, in my kitchen, to create fields where gravity is extra strong, so that things fall much more easily, and faster too!
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bronxboy55
December 21, 2013
We have the same problem in our kitchen, especially those lower cabinets. Every time I open a door, bowls and pans come pouring out onto the floor.
Sorry for the late response — your comment went to the Spam folder, for some reason.
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Martin Tjandra
December 9, 2013
Sometimes it’s easier to imagine eighty-five million of ants crawling in my backyard than… oh wait.. I don’t want to imagine that..
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bronxboy55
December 11, 2013
I tried it with ants, Martin, but they wouldn’t stand still.
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earthriderjudyberman
December 9, 2013
I’m quite disappointed, Charles. I have thought of you as the font of knowledge. Now, you go and burst my bubble when you tell me that you don’t know all this stuff you write about and you don’t contribute to scholarly journals. You’re beginning to sound like Michael Crichton. (I was really bummed when I learned he made up some of the scientific stuff in his novels.) 😉
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bronxboy55
December 11, 2013
Judy, if you want to continue thinking of me as a font of knowledge, then go ahead. Just don’t talk to anyone who knows me.
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ShimonZ
December 11, 2013
Well, we’ve been warned. Of course, in a few years we’ll be able to put two rechargeable AA batteries into the car, and go to town and back on the energy.
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bronxboy55
December 11, 2013
And then the AA batteries will cost three hundred dollars apiece.
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reneejohnsonwrites
December 12, 2013
Invest in corn futures Charles; that’s my answer. Aren’t we getting rather good at making ethanol from corn? And now that people have decided corn consumption is too high in ‘carbs’, perhaps it is just high enough for ‘cars’.
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bronxboy55
December 12, 2013
I think I should have kept this to a one-part post, Renee. Everyone seems to be anticipating what I’m going to talk about in Part 2, including the production of ethanol. I hope you’ll come back to read it.
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lostnchina
December 16, 2013
Charles, I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one baffled by my self-cleaning oven. I believe a little oven gnome comes out and scrapes off the gunk on my oven walls when I’m not looking (and believe me, I’ve tried to look VERY hard). I think this gnome is working in cahoots with the fridge light gnome, that’s also causing my food to go (taste) bad in the fridge, and often keeping my fridge door open, even after I’ve slammed it shut several times. Perhaps, if we could harness the energy of these gnomes we could solve the energy problems. At least, that’s what I’m hoping this wonderful first part you’ve written will lead up to in part two, but I’m thinking probably not.
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bronxboy55
December 17, 2013
Sorry, Susan, but I forgot about the gnomes. I guess it’s up to you now to explain it.
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