Every year, as Catholic school students, we were sent out into the neighborhood on fundraising expeditions, wearing our uniforms and carrying cardboard suitcases filled with overpriced chocolate bars. It was my first sales job, and I was terrible at it. I’m pretty sure my Aunt Josephine bought the entire box every time, not because the candy was so great, but because I was her brother’s son and she didn’t want to see me wandering down the road to failure, ending up in prison, or worse, working at the post office.
If, as a child, I had any skill at selling, it involved nothing more than getting a kind relative to feel sorry for me. And now, even that questionable talent has vanished, converted somewhere along the way into an unnatural sense of empathy for the customers’ troubles. I doubt I’d last more than a day even as a toll collector, especially after the Department of Transportation found out I’d given the money back to every driver who complained about the recent rate hikes.
And so, it is with great trepidation that I tell you about a line of greeting cards I’ve created. Writing and designing the cards was much like playing, and I grew more confident with each one. But now, as I begin the transfer over to the marketing division, I return once again to the familiar state of doubt that comes with taking on a job that makes me uncomfortable.
I simply don’t like selling my own products. The best I can do is alert you to their existence, and hope you like some of them.
But a little preliminary explanation might be helpful.
These aren’t the cards you’d expect to find in a store or online. Those tend to be focused on specific and special events that take place throughout the year: birthdays and graduations, weddings and anniversaries, new babies and regular holidays. For the most part, my cards are glimpses into daily life – the things that happen in between those special events. They’re about relationships, and the small turning points that mark our struggles with them.
If I really had to pin it down, I’d say these cards reflect the importance of communication, and the results that occur when, all too frequently, that communication falls apart.
The cards also don’t open like typical greeting cards. Rather, they come in a sleeve with a window cut-out that shows the beginning of a message. You slide the card down to reveal the rest of the message, along with a cartoon. Each is printed on heavy card stock, and the sleeves can be ordered in seven different colors. Card number 76 is shown here.
All of the cartoons were originally drawn by Ron Leishman, the same artist who does most of the illustrations you see on this blog. I’ve modified many of the drawings in some way, but Ron’s original brilliance is always evident.
The collection includes one hundred cards, and you can find all of them displayed on my newly-revised website, along with the books I’ve self-published.
Please take a look when you have some time. And if you’re moved enough to post this information on your blog — or on Facebook, Twitter, or any of the other social media that seem to leave me feeling as lost and confused as that eight-year-old boy carrying a cardboard suitcase – I’d be grateful. Or if you want to mention it to a few friends who might be interested, I’d appreciate that just as much.
If only my Aunt Josephine were still around, I probably wouldn’t have to bother you with this.
ranu802
November 12, 2013
You did a good job,making us eager to see your cards.Are you trying to sell some?,would
like to know,in case I like them.
Ranu
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
I think your question says it all, Ranu. But, yes, I’m trying to sell them.
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Jac
November 12, 2013
Can’t wait to see the cards!! Is there no end to your talent? 🙂
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
I was going to send you number 16.
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Jac
November 14, 2013
That would be cruel, since Hope is only 11 and by the time my nest is empty, I won’t remember where it is 😉
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bronxboy55
November 14, 2013
That could be another card.
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Theresa Campo
November 12, 2013
THANK YOU , I POSTED IT ON FACE BOOK.
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
Thanks, Theresa. It’s good to hear from you.
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Allan Douglas (@AllanDouglasDgn)
November 12, 2013
What a (Mostly) Brilliant Idea! I have just completed submitting links to this article to my battery of social media outlets, so you may be assured that at least 7 more people will now be alerted.
Also, I understand your trepidation with sales. I was once a salesman at a Kinny’s Shoe store – which was in a mall. We were required to hang around the front entrance (if we weren’t busy with a customer) and if anyone so much as glanced into the store we were to pounce upon them and drag them into the store to force the latest best selling high heels and hand bag combos in their face. Even if they were men. I didn’t last long at that job and still have a strong aversion to the “Buy my stuff, buy my stuff” form of salesmanship. But I don’t seem to mind at all yelling, “Buy his stuff, buy his stuff” if it’s something I believe in. I’m going to mosey over to the web site now and see what all is available.
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
It’s easier for me to say, “Buy his stuff,” too. That’s why we all have to stick together and promote each other.
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Philster999
November 12, 2013
Good luck! I’m off to check them out now…
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
I appreciate your support, Phil.
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Allan Douglas
November 12, 2013
I REALLY like #15, by the way! Hope I never have to use it, but I like it a lot.
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
And that’s one that I wasn’t really sure about. You just never know.
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Allan Douglas
November 12, 2013
Um, Charles… when clicking through the card collection the next set button skips from card 21 to card 52. Should be an easy fix, all it takes is a monkey wrench and a little WD-40. Thought you should know.
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
Thanks, Allan. I fixed the problem as soon as I got your comment. (That WD-40 is a lifesaver, isn’t it?) I wouldn’t be surprised to find a few more glitches.
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icedteawithlemon
November 12, 2013
What a cool idea! Good luck with your latest venture–I’ve already picked out a few that I must have!
I understand completely about your aversion to selling, and I suffer from that same “familiar state of doubt.” I’ve had many people locally asking when I’m going to do a book signing–and I’m terrified to commit to one because I just know that all those people will forget/will have conflicting obligations/were just being kind…. and I will be sitting at a table all alone with my boxes. I’d rather just write and not have to worry about figuring out how to “market” myself.
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
Thank you, Karen. I was glad to see that you’ve at least made an attempt to promote your new book on your blog. I can’t wait to see it.
http://icedteawithlemon.wordpress.com
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Patti Kuche
November 12, 2013
Charles, I am so excited for you and will definitely order! So many times I need a card and they are so blechy, flowers, glitter etc etc and my heart is never in it . . . . Thank you so much for filling that void!
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
I’m the same way, Patti. All of those gloppy “Darling, Sweetheart, You’re-My-Reason-For-Living” cards can seem somewhat overdone and inappropriate.
Thanks for the encouragement.
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nerdinthebrain
November 12, 2013
Love! I’ll certainly spread the word. 🙂
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
I appreciate it. And I hope you’ve finished digging out from your snowstorm.
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Stacie Chadwick
November 12, 2013
Just checked out the site. Those cards are fantastic, and a great use of your talent. I love that they’re not event-specific, especially those that aren’t the typical celebratory holidays. Well done, Charles. I’ll put a link on my Facebook page. =)
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
Thank you, Stacie. Your encouragement means a lot.
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lostnchina
November 12, 2013
What a wonderful idea, Charles! I’m going to enjoy going through these cards and will share them! (PS: When selling lemonade, it’s best not to wear a suit and tie – maybe one of those costumes where you’re dressed up as a big bright yellow lemon with bright yellow leotards is better. If the lemonade’s bad at least people might give you money to go away.)
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bronxboy55
November 13, 2013
Susan, you wouldn’t believe how bad I look in yellow leotards. Take my word for it.
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morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
November 12, 2013
Terrific; that’s a great idea for someone as clever and “with it” as you are. Good luck to you.
Reblogged this on morristownmemos.
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bronxboy55
November 14, 2013
Thanks a lot, Ronnie. I really appreciate it.
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Good Scents of Humor
November 12, 2013
Reblogged this on Good Scents of Humor and commented:
This is how to sell! Lol!
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bronxboy55
November 14, 2013
This is how to sell? Really?
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earthriderjudyberman
November 12, 2013
I was briefly in advertising at a weekly paper and I barely survived. I found some agreeable, creative folks who bought ads. But I spent most of my time writing for the paper instead of selling ads.
Very clever. I loved #24 and #100. Good luck on your venture, Charles. I posted this on my Facebook page.
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bronxboy55
November 15, 2013
Thanks, Judy. I’m no longer on Facebook, so that will help.
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ravitejatadimalla
November 13, 2013
I will buy your cards one day!
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bronxboy55
November 15, 2013
Okay. Thank you.
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Food,Photography & France
November 13, 2013
Excellent….my problem is that I have as much problem buying things as I have selling them:)
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bronxboy55
November 15, 2013
That’s a good thing. More people could use a little restraint.
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Diane Henders
November 13, 2013
Love the greeting cards and your fabulous sense of humour! I gave you a shout-out on my blog today – good luck with your new venture. 🙂
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bronxboy55
November 15, 2013
Thanks, Diane. I always appreciate your feedback and support.
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TerranceH
November 14, 2013
Your writing is impeccably smooth and witty. Always a joy.
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bronxboy55
November 16, 2013
That’s nice to hear. Thank you, Terrance.
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silkpurseproductions
November 14, 2013
Charles, I love your new site. I have spent some time on it over the last couple of days and it is a treasure trove. It looks great, has wonderful content but the best thing is the simplicity of use. I’ve made a list of the cards I want to order. They are wonderful and I have gone through all 100. I want to go back and look again as I kept thinking of one when I was two pages past it so I want to make sure I get what I want. If I had my way I would order the whole set. I will definitely be talking you up.
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bronxboy55
November 16, 2013
Thanks, Michelle — both for the support and the feedback.
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Choosing
November 14, 2013
What a great idea! Looking around my house, I probably would need card 12. And I definitely love card 20!
I have just ‘found’ your blog and already I am thinking “if only I had more time – I could spent hours reading this”. So I will be back for sure.
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bronxboy55
November 16, 2013
Okay. I promise to be here when you get back.
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Christiana Pilgrim
November 15, 2013
Love the wedding ones! Very clever–and having been a Girl Scout with the cookies every year and then in band with everything else, I totally appreciate not being a good salesmen. It’s probably why I work in an office.
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bronxboy55
November 18, 2013
I work at home, completely alone. I wonder what that means.
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reneejohnsonwrites
November 15, 2013
Oh boy, I can’t wait to check these cards out. If they are as witty and clever as your blog posts, they are sure to be bestsellers. Good luck!
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bronxboy55
November 18, 2013
Thank you, Renee. I hope you like what you find.
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Gypsy Bev
November 16, 2013
Our principal always refused the fund raisers as he said he didn’t want the kids to turn out to be little beggars. In your case, it worked well. Good luck on your new venture.
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bronxboy55
November 18, 2013
A little boy came to the door yesterday. He was selling bags of potatoes as part of a fundraiser for his hockey team. I was so stunned, I actually said no. Potatoes?
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Snoring Dog Studio
November 17, 2013
Your cards are wonderful! They’re a refreshing change from the usual stuff I see in the stores.
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bronxboy55
November 18, 2013
Thanks, Jean. You know how much I value your opinion, so that means a lot.
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earthriderjudyberman
November 17, 2013
Charles … You’ve been supportive – just like family – from the start. That’s why I nominated you for The WordPress Family Award. If you already have this, just ‘let it slide.’ See my blog for details: http://earth-rider.com/2013/11/17/the-wordpress-family-award/
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bronxboy55
November 18, 2013
I appreciate it, Judy. I don’t know if I’ll do another award post, but I’m grateful for the gesture. And congratulations on receiving it yourself — it’s well deserved.
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Betty Londergan
November 17, 2013
Reblogged this on What Gives and commented:
One of my FAVORITE bloggers has a great new line of cards you gotta see…..
Hope it takes you to the stratosphere (where everybody can meet Aunt Josephine!) xoxoox b
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bronxboy55
November 19, 2013
Thanks, Betty, for the reblog as well as the encouragement. I’m always grateful for your kind feedback.
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ShimonZ
November 18, 2013
I really like his work.
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bronxboy55
November 19, 2013
I like your work, too, Shimon.
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Kathryn McCullough
November 18, 2013
Came over here from Betty’s site. Can’t wait to take a look at your cards. I too make them–though they might not be as nice as yours! Hope your week is getting off to a great start!
Blogging from Ecuador,
Kathy
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bronxboy55
November 19, 2013
Thanks, Kathy. Any friend of Betty’s is a friend of mine. I hope things are going well for you in Ecuador.
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Sandra Parsons
November 19, 2013
I am a huge fan of non-birthdays, non-anniversaries and such – there are so many more of them and you can just celebrate them whenever you feel like it. I also tend to buy and gift things when I come across them or I become aware that someone needs them (like my Mom who lost her watch 2 1/2 months before her birthday – was I supposed to let her run around without a watch for that long?!). So your cards very much strike a chord with me. I haven’t seen them all yet but so far number 18 is my favourite. I am just too stingy to have them delivered to our tropical island here, maybe I order some for delivery to Germany when I am back next time.
As to being a bad salesman, the combination of understatement, quality product and sob story seems to be working for me 😉
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bronxboy55
November 22, 2013
Thanks for the feedback, Sandra. And for what it’s worth, the postage from Canada to anywhere in the world is the same, no matter where the item is going. It would be a couple of dollars more.
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Sandra Parsons
November 19, 2013
I also just posted this on my facebook page:
“One of my blogging friends has launched a rather unusual greeting cards collection. No frills, no glitter – and no occasions! Just witty comebacks to everyday situations, illustrated with hilarious little cartoons. So if you are looking for something out of the ordinary (and not more pricey than the average Hallmark card), Charles is your guy.
(He is based in Canada, that’s why shipping to Europe could cost a wee bit more. Simple solution: Just order a few more cards, that way the shipping cost per card is less. Plus, they are worth it!)”
Hope it helps a little!
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bronxboy55
November 22, 2013
Thanks again, Sandra. I really appreciate that.
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rangewriter
November 22, 2013
Oh how ironic. My first selling experience was as abysmal as yours and believe it or not, I had nothing as fun as candy bars to sell. I had greeting cards to sell! Yes, a carton full of boxed sets of greeting cards. And there was nothing funny, special, or particularly artistic about these beasts. I think I may have sold 2 or 3 boxes. Then my mother bought some and with my meager allowance I bought a box of my own cards…and until I finally pitched the last one before my last move 9 years ago, I still had some of those old faded relics! As if that wasn’t enough selling experience, I had to sell girl scout cookies, too. That should have been an easier sell, after all, they are the most addictive treat out there. But my heart pounded in my ears as I stood in front of each solemn door, trying to find the courage to ring the bell and launch my pitch.
I hope you have far better luck with your greeting card sales than I did with mine. ;=)
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bronxboy55
November 25, 2013
Some people can sell almost anything, Linda. And then there are people like us. I wonder what kind of reaction I’d get if I went door-to-door trying to sell Girl Scout cookies.
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She's a Maineiac
November 26, 2013
These are hilarious. Great job, Charles! Can I put something on my blog’s page in my little sidebar (and use an image?)
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bronxboy55
November 27, 2013
Thanks, Darla. I would be honored, and grateful.
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Wyrd Smythe
December 1, 2013
The non-sales pitch sales pitch! Masterfully done, Charles!! 🙂
Good luck on your endeavor!! The beauty of the modern interweb’d world is that if even just a tiny, tiny fraction of people become customers, you should do quite well!
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bronxboy55
December 3, 2013
On the other hand, the non-sales pitch sales pitch isn’t very effective.
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Wyrd Smythe
December 3, 2013
Problem is, that upside of all those potential buyers is also a downside of tons of potential sellers. Many artists struggle to be even noticed, let alone successful, in this wild marketplace!
Think of it… millions of people producing content every single day! It’s no longer a highway or river… it’s a major ocean, and we’re all just drops of water!
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Find an Outlet
January 4, 2014
Hello, this is my first time here. These cards are original and very clever. You can almost hear the ‘bada-bing’ when you read the slide-out part! And who doesn’t love getting a real live card in your brick-and-mortar mailbox–it’s like holding a little part of the sender in your hand.
One of the great misfortunes of my life has been fear and loathing of self-promotion. Ugh, it takes ego!
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bronxboy55
January 4, 2014
Writers tend to be averse to self-promotion, and maybe most people in general are, too. I keep saying that we all need to stop lavishing our valuable attention on celebrities (who already get more than they need) and try to support each other instead. What do you think?
And thank you very much for the kind words.
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Find an Outlet
January 4, 2014
Yes, supporting other creative types would be the rational way to get ahead. Ah but then you’ve got human nature to deal with–jealousy! I should’ve got that prize! It’s not fair! I see it all the time. And I couldn’t agree more that we live in a celebrity-obsessed culture. It’s pretty creepy.
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Margie
January 18, 2014
I’ve been browsing e-card sites, and while the quips are often hilarious, the illustrations usually are… not very good. One very good way of correcting this, I thought, would be to use Ron Leishmans’s toons… Since you have now done that very thing, and done it extremely well, I will have to head back to the ‘drawing board’!
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bronxboy55
January 24, 2014
Ron’s cartoons are so well done, and just seem to be begging for words. Thanks for the comment, Margie. And good luck.
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