I have a book called The Magic of Thinking Big. It’s a great title, because it explains the entire book in five words, which is why I’ve never read the rest of it. The cover promises that you’ll “acquire the secrets of success and achieve everything you’ve always wanted.” That’s a pretty ambitious claim. But then, the book has sold more than four million copies since it was first published in 1959, so we’re obviously attracted to ambitious claims. Sales would have probably been less impressive if it had said: “Acquire the secrets to barely making it through the day without ruining your life.”
Again, I haven’t read the book, and so it’s conceivable that I, too, could now be enjoying financial security, a high-paying job, and much power and influence. I did flip through the pages once, and saw that they were filled with those fake, outdated stories about door-to-door salesmen who refused to listen to the naysayers and went out and earned ten times what their co-workers were making, eventually retiring with a summer cottage and a sailboat, while their friends couldn’t pay the bills and had to work at the gas station until they died. I suppose that’s possible. My problem is that I get tripped up by words like naysayer. That one makes me think of a goat, for some reason, and I find myself wondering what goats sound like. The sound a horse makes is called a neigh, which is a homonym of nay, and that may partly justify my confusion, even though horses and goats are not very much alike. From there, I sometimes drift away to the fact that people eat food while farm animals eat feed, and I try to imagine why we needed both terms. None of this has anything to do with big thinking, but I’m just explaining why I have trouble getting through a book like that.
The truth is, I dwell on the small things. While other people are gazing upward and dreaming huge dreams, I’m scouring the ground for stray pennies. Ben Franklin wisely said, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Of course, that was in 1737, when a penny could buy an acre of land, twelve chickens, and three sacks of flour, with almost enough left over to get a halfway decent beaver hat. Judging by the number of pennies I see on the ground in the mall parking lot, I’m the only person who still bothers with them. This is neither a complaint nor an excuse. I believe small thinkers provide a valuable service, although I’m too busy picking lint off my shirt to identify what that service might be.
Lint, you surely understand, comes from clothing as it gradually breaks down in the laundry. One of my private fears is that the timer on the clothes dryer will suddenly stop working, the machine will run forever, and all of my underwear will completely disappear. This seems irrational, I realize, but that’s one of the hallmarks of a small-thinking mind.
A hallmark, by the way, was originally a stamp used to verify the quality of precious metals. It’s no coincidence, then, that the word reminds me of incredibly overpriced greeting cards. But back to metals. I’ve been wondering a lot lately about iron. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, everything was made of iron: kitchen utensils, tools, bridges, cannon balls, gates and fences, door hinges, and nails, as well as enormous steam trains, the tracks they ran on, and the spikes that held the rails to the ties. Even the furnaces used to make iron were made of it. But where did all of that iron come from? How did anyone know where it was? I’ve been digging in the ground my whole life and I’ve never found any metal, except for a rusted socket wrench last September, and I was probably the one who lost it in the first place.
Somehow, humans everywhere and throughout history have been locating, extracting, and inventing uses for iron, copper, nickel, gold, and many other shiny rocks. We eventually figured out how to purify and combine these metals to make wire to conduct electricity, extremely thin filaments to light our homes, and microchips to store information inside our computers. I use the word we there in the collective sense, a trick small thinkers employ whenever they feel the need to create the illusion of personal accomplishment.
Not that we waste all of our time.
Last week, in a flash of productivity, I was scrutinizing a bag of nuts. On the front of the bag, it said in large, bold letters: Almonds. In addition, there were pictures of almonds, and peeking through a transparent window in the bag were dozens of actual almonds. On the back, below the nutrition information, it said this, in nearly unreadable seven-point type: “Allergy warning — contains almonds.” A momentary dread came over me as I worried about the survival prospects for someone with a lethal sensitivity to almonds who had somehow missed all the clues on the front of the bag. In much the same way, I felt a real concern when I spotted this tiny line hidden on a jug of bleach: “Harmful if swallowed.”
• Just this morning, I was studying a box of Life cereal. There was a picture of a bowl filled with the cereal, and some milk had been poured in. A spoon rested next to the bowl, and under the picture it said “Serving Suggestion.” That seemed helpful, so I made a mental note. As I ate, I swallowed carefully, mindful of my tendency to begin choking on absolutely nothing. It’s a daily incident that lasts for several long minutes, leaving me teary-eyed and gasping for breath. Why does this never happen to the president-elect as he’s giving his victory speech, or a newscaster who’s advising us that on very hot days we should stay indoors and drink a lot of water? Also, why are there so many smart people who don’t know how to spell refrigerator?
• When I’m driving my car and I go under a low overpass, I duck my head. Do you do this? It’s an especially ridiculous practice, because if the roof of the car is going to get torn off, no doubt so will our heads. In a similar way, when turning into a tight parking space, I lean my body to one side to avoid hitting the other car. That actually seems to work.
• I recently came to the sad conclusion that I’m never going to know if Bigfoot exists. There was a flurry of activity on the subject a while back, but all subsequent progress appears to have stalled. I don’t care what they look like or how they live; I’m more intrigued by the terminology. Will the plural be Bigfoots or Bigfeet? Now that I see them together, they both look wrong. What sound does a Bigfoot make, and if it’s a neigh, will that create more confusion? What if they make no sound? They’re always pretty quiet in those videos, and in a big hurry to get somewhere deep in the forest. What could they be up to?
In truth, there are many more important issues I should be spending my time on. I’m aware of that. However, I prefer to leave the big ideas to others. To quote Franklin again, “If everyone is thinking alike, then no one is thinking.” I have no desire for a summer cottage or a sailboat. But I do gaze upward occasionally, especially at night, and dream huge dreams. One of mine is to get a really good telescope, the kind you can attach a camera to. I want to take pictures of the moon and planets. And I will, someday. Toward that end, I’m off to search for discarded pennies. There are always some around the pumps at the gas station, and covered with lint in the clothes dryer. I may even sell my copy of The Magic of Thinking Big. I bet I could get twenty-five cents for it, easy.
kindbehindtheeyes
July 9, 2012
Once again, reading your blog has greatly improved the quality of my day. Thanks! (From now on, every time I read the word “naysayer,” I will think, “I read something about that word once…something really funny. I wish I could remember what it was. Something about a goat…”)
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
If it improved your day, even a little, it was worth the effort. Thank you.
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Carol Deminski
July 9, 2012
What would have been especially frightening for me is if the box of cereal contained the message: Allergy warning – contains Life.
Then again, it’s better than pennies in your cereal, which surely would cause a problem although it would also solve your recommended daily copper requirement for the next six months.
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
I was going to combine the cereal with my choking problem and say that sometimes Life is hard to swallow. But I resisted.
Those pennies don’t have much copper anymore.
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Carol Deminski
July 10, 2012
Yeah, the Life cereal did open you up to a lot of possible puns, I like the Life is hard to swallow…
I thought pennies now cost more than a penny to make, in part because of the copper in them?
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Experienced Tutors
July 9, 2012
A lovely read. Thoroughly enjoyed your ‘ramblings’. Had me tittering all the way through.
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
Thank you, ET. I’m glad you liked it.
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Saara
July 9, 2012
God, you’re hilarious!
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
Never mind that. When are you going to fix the link so people can actually find your blog?
http://saarakhan24.wordpress.com/
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Saara
July 10, 2012
Now that you’ve shared the link here, I can relax and sit back, and wait for people to inundate my blog. And if no one shows up, it’ll be all your fault. 😛
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creatingreciprocity
July 9, 2012
Firstly, this sounds a little bit like the inside of my head – I say this in sympathy as opposed to admiration as if that is true then you are also suffering from a head that feels as if it is constantly on the spin cycle in a washing machine. Sorry for your troubles.
On the subject of your obsession with detail – perhaps you have overlooked an obvious career choice (which might well bring you fame and fortune without reading that book). This is my reasoning – if the devil is in the detail and you have a super-power of being able to endlessly attend to detail – could you become a demon hunter? Clearly you’ll be able to find the devil if he’s there. Also, if attention to detail proves to be the way to ferret out the devil perhaps they should rename the period between Shrove Tuesday and Easter as Lint? (there are loads of places in Ireland where that’s how it’s pronounced anyway)
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
Trisha, the problem with being so focused on detail is that everything becomes a huge ocean and it’s easy to get swallowed up. When I look for something in a dictionary or almanac, I usually emerge two hours later and can’t remember what I went looking for.
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creatingreciprocity
July 10, 2012
I know, Charles, but even so I bet you could hunt demons – I’ll be your manager – I need the job – and I just know we could get you on a late night TV station (the ones with psychics and dodgy phone lines). We just need a catchy title for your show – e.g.’Who Knows, The Devil May Care’ or ‘Who Wants to Find A Demon Lair’…
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
Okay, but I’m not wearing make-up. Or a tie. Can I get that in my contract?
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creatingreciprocity
July 10, 2012
Done.
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Saara
July 10, 2012
That always happens to me! I get so distracted by those big, cool-sounding words and close the dictionary with this satisfied smile on my face that now I know big, cool-sounding words. It takes me a while to open it back again and find what I originally wanted. Why are we so weird?
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
Everyone is weird. But some of us are so weird that we realize there’s no point in trying to hide it.
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zoetic * epics
July 9, 2012
I wasn’t expecting my mind to ponder about random things such as goats, pennies, precious metals, serving suggestions, driving, and big foot all within a few minutes today! I don’t know whether to thank you or not! 😉 Regardless, nicely done! Although I didn’t really gain any insightful thoughts, it was time well spent nonetheless; an enjoyable read with some loud outbursts between intervals! Books like these are huge money makers feeding those get-rich-fast- seekers – but I suppose they do some good as they give people “hope” – which is what gives people the strength to carry on, or inspires motivation, and both are positive affects. My husband is currently reading a book (I don’t know the exact title) but it’s about working 2 hours in a work week and getting 40 hrs of work done. The book has him saying NO to everything for a week – so last week was not a fun week for me. He said he’s learned a few clever trick that’s worked for him, so I suppose some of these books are actually useful! But to actually get rich off the books, that seems far fetched! Although – I won’t be complaining if I get rich by default! Hahaha
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newsofthetimes
July 9, 2012
Hilarious! I laughed out loud at the almonds. Thanks for the laugh!
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zoetic * epics
July 9, 2012
P.S. Just to be clear – when I say ” I didn’t really gain any insightful thoughts ” – that’s my OWN thoughts, not yours! 😉
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bronxboy55
July 10, 2012
I imagine that for some people, buying those books is like buying lottery tickets. As you said, it gives them hope that this will be the one. About gaining insightful thoughts, if it does ever happen on my blog, it was probably unintentional.
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zoetic * epics
July 16, 2012
HAHAHA – you are so humble! I think the wisest of men usually are! =D
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She's a Maineiac
July 9, 2012
Those last two pictures made me bust a gut!
And yeah…where is all this lint coming from? I clean out the lint trap every single time I use the dryer and it’s this three inch thick mass of lint. Why aren’t my clothes gone now? How much lint can they possibly keep shedding before they disappear?
And another thing…when I walk into the garage, I always duck even though the garage door has clearly no possibility of hitting me on the head on the way up. What is wrong with me, Charles? Maybe I’m asking the wrong person?
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bronxboy55
July 11, 2012
You’re definitely asking the wrong person, Darla. Let’s get together some time and compare lists.
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John
July 9, 2012
This is a hallmark of entertaining prose!
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bronxboy55
July 11, 2012
I knew you would say that, John, or something like it.
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icedteawithlemon
July 9, 2012
I’ve never ducked while going under an underpass or leaned my body away from a parked vehicle–but I always turn down the radio when I’m nearing an unfamiliar intersection, and I have no idea why. I, too, pick up those discarded pennies (but only if they are lying face up), and I believe I have more than enough in my coin jar to meet your asking price for that little book. 🙂
Please keep thinking small, Charles. I love following your mind down its twisting, turning path . . . I’m never quite sure where you’re headed, but I always know the journey will be delightful.
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bronxboy55
July 11, 2012
I do the same thing with the radio, Karen. I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with the number of functioning brain cells.
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Madame Weebles
July 9, 2012
I’m glad I found your blog, because I enjoyed this post very much. I never really thought about what the plural of Bigfoot would be. But I do find myself ducking when going under overpasses or other passages even though rationally I know there’s plenty of clearance, but I do it anyway.
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bronxboy55
July 11, 2012
I think the plural of Bigfoot will be Bigfoot, just as the plural of deer is deer. But I still wonder what the past tense of blow dry is.
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cat
July 9, 2012
Thanks for taking me along on the journey into your thoughts again ,,, Your avatar pic is delicious to look at, plus we are both ’55ers … I like that as well … Thanks, Mr. Bronx Boy 🙂 Love, cat.
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bronxboy55
July 11, 2012
Thank you, cat. I would never have thought you were a ’55er — maybe a ’65er. Maybe.
I wonder how many people have seen your amazing poems. Here’s one:
http://catsruledogsdroole.blogspot.ca/2012/03/kuddel.html
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Ashley
July 9, 2012
I always pick up the pennies I find because I read once (probably in Dear Abby) that pennies are signals from those who have passed before intended to let you know they are watching over you. Apparently all my loved ones who have moved on never had a lot of money. It would be nice if they would drop the occasional C-note:)
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2012
I’ve heard the same theory about the pennies, Ashley. It’s probably one of those old wives’ tales from two centuries ago. With the higher cost of living, I would think they’d leave at least a quarter. The Tooth Fairy has kept up with inflation. Maybe the dead just don’t pay attention to the economy.
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on thehomefrontandbeyond
July 9, 2012
you are very entertaining–and yes I do duck
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2012
I wonder if the video cameras at the entrances to parking garages are recording all of us ducking as we go in.
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on thehomefrontandbeyond
July 12, 2012
if they were it would be on youtube
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Doug (@AllanDouglasDgn)
July 9, 2012
Ghak – I just choked because you induced sudden laughter while I was sucking the pulp from the pit of a cherry I was eating. I wonder if that’s grounds for a law-suit. It would be if you were here in America, but Canada probably quashes frivolous laws suits brought be people seeking compensation for their own idiocy. Only here do manufacturers feel it required to place warning labels like “Injury may occur from standing on this glass-top table” or that bit about the almonds.
I think I’ll start reforming by switching from food to feed (probably healthier) and reading that book on how to get through the day without ruining my life.
I’m with you though: while I’m very good with wood, I’m pathetic with metal or concrete. If it had been up to me to figure out that you could melt rocks and make metal we’d all be driving around in wooden cars. No doubt we’d all be ducking as we drove through an underpass, because those would be wood as well.
And I vote for Bigfoots, not Bigfeet. Although… one goose, many geese, so maybe I’m wrong.
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2012
Allan, the melting down and casting of metal is just one of hundreds of things I would never have figured out. It’s good that somebody did.
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Jac
July 9, 2012
I thought my mind went off on tangents. Just so you won’t think I’m looking down on you, I DO duck under things like the drive through at the bank or fast food (feed?) places. I’ve always wondered why the word “duck” is used in this way because I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a duck do that with their heads, but maybe they do. I don’t really spend much time looking at ducks, although I do spend quite a bit of time watching birds. I have wondered why animals that are so similar, are separated into “birds” and “fowl”. Which brings to mind the fact that the first 2 fouls in baseball are strikes, but then the third one isn’t. And why do they use the letter “K” to show a strikeout and not an “S”? I understand there is a “K” in the middle of the word, but it’s not like they are using an “S” for anything else, so why not use that?
So anyway, you may want to see someone regarding your mind wandering off.
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2012
Maybe they put something in our food.
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charlywalker
July 9, 2012
I only pick up the pennies that are heads up……it’s good luck.
If you stumble upon a penny that’s Tails up..flip it over and leave it for another…..more good luck…
and if you believe this nonsense…I’m going to write a book about it…..
Great read Bronxboy!!
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bronxboy55
July 12, 2012
You should be writing a book about something, CW.
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charlywalker
July 13, 2012
trying………
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nailingjellotoatree
July 9, 2012
It’s like a huge explosion that makes me smile. And since you put it out there and told us it’s there, now I totally want to steal your picture….the one you took of the moon, of course.
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bronxboy55
July 13, 2012
I’d probably let you get away with it, but only because you have the best blog name in the world.
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nailingjellotoatree
July 18, 2012
Awwww thanks.
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charlywalker
July 9, 2012
hey..how come I’m not on your Blog Roll..what am I chopped Liver?
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bronxboy55
July 13, 2012
It was there and then it was gone, but I didn’t delete it. I have no explanation, other than to say it must have been some kind of glitch. Most things in my life lately can be explained only by using the word glitch. Anyway, things are once again as they should be.
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younggypsyspirit
July 9, 2012
Way too much fun… is there such a thing? A much need laugh, recurring at that. Thank you.
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bronxboy55
July 14, 2012
I’m glad it had that effect. Thanks for saying so.
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Whoredinary
July 9, 2012
Smart AND funny! I want you to rub off on me…er…not like rub OFF on me..but, well, you know…<3
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bronxboy55
July 14, 2012
Too late — you’re already smart and funny. It must have rubbed off from somewhere else. Or you had it all along.
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Whoredinary
July 15, 2012
I think I’ve just fainted! Thank you!
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greenroomgallery
July 9, 2012
Great way to start my morning down under. I really like how your mind gets around. Now I must mention that Swedish horses say ‘gnägg’ and that makes me wonder what Chinese ones say. And yes, my whole family (when all the kids were small enough to fit in the back seat in a row) would bow our heads every time we went under a bridge. If only you could have a penny for your thought, every one of them, you’d be able to dive in your pennies like Donald Ducks uncle used to do. Thanks for another laugh. 🙂
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bronxboy55
July 14, 2012
It’s interesting how those “sound” words differ from one country to another. I wonder what dogs and cats say in Australia. Thanks for the comment, Charlotte. I hope things continue to go well at the gallery.
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O. Leonard
July 9, 2012
Okay, I just want you to know I’m going to use the non-copyrighted picture of the moon and I’m going to draw in a meteor shower. I might also put a couple of shaded areas on the moon to make it more realistic. Is there going to be a meteor shower this August, so you can try again?
I have that book. I’m looking for it right now. Well, not “right now,” I’m obviously typing this. I haven’t read it either. I have another one you might like called “How to Make a Quick Fortune.” I haven’t read that either, but I haven’t thrown it out. You never know when you might need to make a quick fortune for something.
And I think I duck. I know I lean. I’m going to drive under a low overpass and see if I duck. But now I’m going to think about whether I’m going to duck, and so it won’t be a very good test.
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bronxboy55
July 15, 2012
There’s supposed to be a meteor shower every August, because of where the Earth is in its orbit at that time of year. I’ve probably seen a total of fifteen meteors in my whole life, and never more than one on the same night. The word shower in this context seems misleading. I always go back into the house mad, and with a stiff neck.
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wannabearchitect
July 9, 2012
Gotta agree with you. My siblings and I have tried in vain to make my mum stop reading the secret (the secret is a book about the law of attraction and how using it will change your life..blah blah blah), but she read it.
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bronxboy55
July 15, 2012
I’m familiar with that book. I think it appeals to people looking for shortcuts. I’ve tried shortcuts in my life, and it never works out.
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Bruce
July 9, 2012
I like the cereal cartoon, it’s a crack up. I also wonder if the clothes dryer will fail to switch off but not because my clothes will disappear. I go for bigfoots without an apostrophe. Thanks for a good read, Bruce.
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
I’m glad you liked it, Bruce. Thank you.
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Nancy
July 9, 2012
I think you’re crazy. Delightfully crazy. And thanks for taking me along with you. I also have all of those books. Problem is I’ve read them and I’m still poor:(
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
I think we are who we are, Nancy, and those books are mostly based on the premise that we can change that. If we were to focus on the strengths we have, rather than trying to acquire new ones — or convincing ourselves that we already have them — we’d be better off. That’s my opinion, anyway.
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Elyse
July 9, 2012
Doesn’t everybody duck? Isn’t that sort of like how everybody opens their mouth when they spoon feed a child or put on mascara (I’ll exempt you from that one, Charles)? I thought it was a law.
And I think it is safe to say that we can call them Mr. and Mrs. Bigfoot.
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
I think everybody ducks. I make weird faces when I’m trying to reach for something. Does everyone do that?
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earthriderjudyberman
July 9, 2012
I think I’ve picked up on the hype surrounding a few books like that. I’m still not rich.
About those warning labels, they are needed. McDonald’s (I believe) was sued because some woman spilled hot coffee on herself from one of their containers. After that, to avoid lawsuits, they put a label to be careful that the coffee inside their cup is hot.
So … now you know.
And, yes, I am stealing that photo on the right. Thanks for your – as always – thoughtful post.
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
I remember that lawsuit, Judy. I’ve always wished I could have been in the courtroom when the judge issued the ruling, just so I can stop wondering if it really happened.
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buckwheatsrisk
July 10, 2012
damn i have a hard time reading your posts because they make me laugh so hard i can’t read through my tears (there’s food for thought) i figure you can use your saved pennies to replace your disappearing underwear! yes i duck under bridges and lean into parking spots. just too funny!
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
When a car coming toward me goes through a puddle and splashes water on my windshield, I put a hand up to cover my face. I can’t help it. That’s normal, too, right?
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buckwheatsrisk
July 16, 2012
if you’re not driving at the time!
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ZinalBhadra
July 10, 2012
hahaha..
The last pictures and the accompanying notes had me in splits..
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bronxboy55
July 16, 2012
I hope you’re back together by now, Zinal.
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Chronicles of drew kyoe
July 10, 2012
Reblogged this on Kyoe speaks and commented:
some tuesday morning humor for you
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
Thank you, Drew.
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kyoespeaks
July 20, 2012
no worries..
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Sandra Parsons
July 10, 2012
Ha, my husband always makes fun of me because once he saw my early-years bookkeeping efforts. I had written down every single outgoing and incoming amount, no matter how small. Yes, that’s right, I even had diligently noted whenever I had found a Pfennig in the street (including the new resulting sum of my wealth).
Oohh, and I simply loved Six Flags Magic Mountain, because when we left I had almost collected the entrance fee’s worth in pennies, fallen out of people’s pockets literally everywhere. I actually pick them all up or, nowadays, make my little monster pick them up and put them in his piggy bank. Nothing wrong with that!
By the way, I will also spend small change. While hubby just puts it in said piggy bank in the evening and breaks a new note the next day at lunchtime, I always have some change in my pocket in case I am going to buy something that costs 2.16 or so. I am not yet old enough to ask the lady at the check-out to grab the change from my wallet herself because I can’t see properly anymore. That might be the point when I decide to adopt my husband’s ways.
As to ridiculous disclaimers, I am always sad about these because they are obviously an evolutionary aberration. Without them at least mankind was able to rid the gene pool of individuals too dumb to deserve to procreate but now… I fear we are all doomed in the long run!
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
Sandra, I think you’re on the right track. It’s the little things we do consistently that most affect our lives. And that includes picking up small change, whether pennies or pfennigs.
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Sue
July 10, 2012
Thanks for my morning chuckle. By the way if you come across a Canadian penny don’t waste your time picking it up as we have stopped minting them this year unless you just need the exercise eh….
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I have a few thousand of those Canadian pennies, Sue — I live in PEI. By the way, is the plan to stop using pennies altogether, or is it just that they’re no longer being made?
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Sue
July 19, 2012
Well just call me stupid. I assumed by your bronxboy55 that you were a New Yorker. As far as I know the penny will eventually disappear and items will be rounded up or down (more than likely up)
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bronxboy55
July 20, 2012
I’d never call you stupid, and I am originally a New Yorker, born and raised in the Bronx. I’ve been in Canada since 1998.
I still wonder if pennies will disappear. There are billions of them in circulation, so I don’t see why they would. If my total comes to $10.05, won’t I still be able to use five pennies?
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floatingwiththebreeze
July 10, 2012
Guilty of ducking my head when driving under an overpass. Very funny post. Thanks for the laughs. 🙂
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
And thank you for the comment, Teresa. I appreciate it.
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Stacie Chadwick
July 10, 2012
Charles,
Reading your work helps me write. I always enter this quasi-dreamlike state when I read your posts that makes me more creative, whether I’m right there with you ducking my head when I enter a parking garage or scratching mine, trying to figure out how you got A + B to = C. Either way I’m smiling.
Love it, as always.
Stacie
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
Thank you, Stacie. If reading my work helps you write, that’s the most gratifying comment I could ever get.
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painfullywaiting
July 11, 2012
Thank you so much for making me laugh out loud. I am so glad I found your blog to bring a smile to my face when in tough times.
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I hope you have many more days ahead, Pamela, and that they aren’t all painful. Keep laughing.
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Diane Henders
July 11, 2012
Wow, lucky you copyrighted that moon picture. Thanks for making me laugh this morning – as usual!
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
We’re friends, Diane, so you can use either one.
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Michelle Gillies
July 11, 2012
Nothing makes my day like finding one of your blogs in my mailbox. Having read this today I just want to say, “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy”, but I will humbly read it again.
You are the only person I have ever heard of who admits that their mind wanders off into random tangents as much as mine. Of course yours is much more entertaining.
I thought you should know that here in Canada we stopped making the penny back in March. Apparently it costs far more to make the penny than it is worth so they have discontinued it. Everything will be rounded up or down. Personally I think uncertainty of the rounding will be a topic for many blogs.
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I live in Canada, too, Michelle, so I know about the penny. I’ve heard that it also costs more than five cents to make a nickel, so that coin may be gone soon, as well.
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Michelle Gillies
July 18, 2012
I guess I assumed (yes I know what that makes me) you were from the Bronx.
I hadn’t heard about the nickel. I can’t imagine everything being rounded to the nearest dime. I guess it won’t be long before money is obsolete and we just have some kind of scan to see if we can afford what we are buying.
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bronxboy55
July 20, 2012
I grew up in the Bronx, and have continued the process elsewhere, including Canada for the past fourteen years.
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Val
July 11, 2012
Sure Bigfoot exists. And the sound he makes is that of stamping his foot, which never touches the ground, so it’s a quiet stamp (or a postage stamp) while he ducks under a branch that’s so high up you can’t see it. Like you can’t see him. Or her.
I also duck when going under low bridges. I duck when going under high bridges as well. Maybe I’m a mallard.
I’ve never heard of Life cereal, but I guess it figures. 🙂
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
One of the things I like about traveling is going into grocery stores and seeing what their food products are called, especially breakfast cereal. I always seems, somehow, not quite real.
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morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
July 11, 2012
I bought books that promised to help me “Think Outside Of The Box.’ I always thought that would be a terrific idea. (thinking outside the box: not buying books that tell you how to do it.) Ridiculous. One is named “Aha” and another “Why didn’t i Think of That?” The only people who were helped with those books are the men who wrote them and made money!
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
There are multi-level marketing businesses like that, Ronnie. The entire business consists of getting other people to join so they can find out how to make money.
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Branden H.
July 11, 2012
Reblogged this on hastilyscribbled.
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Branden H.
July 12, 2012
This is hilarious! 😀
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
Thanks for the comment, Branden, and for the re-blog.
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shortcutting
July 12, 2012
I’d never be so foolish as to lean back and forth while parking. Oh no. I much prefer the ‘breathing in’ method – that’ll get you into the tightest of spaces. Nice post 🙂
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I’ll try that. When I’m sitting at a red light and watching a car approach in the rear view mirror, I hold my breath until it stops.
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Christos Floros
July 12, 2012
The first sketch reminds me of.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BO46-7jymA Hello – Book of Mormon
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I’d never heard of that show, Christos. Were there protests?
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Priya
July 14, 2012
Hey you’ve thought big already! A goat sounds more neigh than a horse. They should’ve thought of that before burdening the poor horse with that sound. This is earth shattering stumble-upon, Charles!
Perhaps we’ll both be able to afford a telescope with a camera and then take pictures of the moon that are worth copyrighting. (No offence meant about the worthiness).
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I told you I’d think of something worthwhile someday. You didn’t believe me, did you?
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Arindam
July 14, 2012
The last two pictures and captions are simply brilliant. How could you thought of something like this! I am sure, “it is not the magic of thinking big. ” 🙂
And yes, even when I play a racing game on my laptop, I lean my body to one side to avoid hitting the other car. And it really works for me too. 🙂
As always excellent post Sir Charles.
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I’ve watched people do the same thing while playing video games, Arindam. So know that you’re not alone. Thanks, as always, for your kind comment.
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Jennie Upside Down
July 14, 2012
While I’ve never ducked going an underpass, I duck every time a bird hits my windshield. Happens more often than anyone would think too. It must be something about my vehicle.
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
Jennie, the same thing has been happening to me. In the past two months, I’ve had four or five near collisions with birds. I don’t remember it ever happening before. Are they distracted by something?
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Jennie Upside Down
July 30, 2012
Did you wash your car? Maybe it’s the clean windshield 😉
It seems that white and silver vehicles attract those brown Doves..
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taehoonyoon
July 16, 2012
love your writing style! had a good laugh.
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bronxboy55
July 18, 2012
I’m glad, and thank you for saying so.
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katrinaperkins
July 19, 2012
You are quite clever. Made me chuckle a few times, and smile often. I admire the presumed randomness you tie together with eccentric personality. Thank you for the lighthearted approach interspersed with some genuinely intelligent observations about the sad states of stupidity. Oh, and thank you for picking up those pennies I keep throwing out of my car when I get gas!
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bronxboy55
July 20, 2012
I think only wealthy people are allowed to be eccentric. The rest of us are just weird. Thanks for dropping those pennies — when I’ve collected enough of them, you can start calling me eccentric again. Meanwhile, I’m grateful for the thoughtful comment.
http://katrinaperkins.wordpress.com/
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katrinaperkins
July 20, 2012
Continue to make me laugh lugubriously. I feel wealthy when I utilize $10 words. Damn, I just looked up lugubriously- thought it meant the opposite. Now I’m broke. I like weirdos, and I thank you.
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bronxboy55
July 30, 2012
I think it would be possible to laugh lugubriously. In the appropriate context, that might be something you could try on stage.
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rangewriter
July 20, 2012
Naaaaysayers and haaaayburners. The same thing cloaked in fur skins!
My mail truck was tall enough that I frequently had to drive under low hanging branches and I ALWAYS ducked my head, then felt really silly afterwards!
Another fun break in my day. Thanks for providing recess of sorts, Charles.
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bronxboy55
July 21, 2012
You must have some great stories from those mail truck days, Linda. Have you written any? Maybe there are posts from the time before I discovered your blog? Please let me know.
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rangewriter
July 21, 2012
You know, Charles, I haven’t written anything about my life at the PO. I’m not sure why. Maybe I was too busy putting one foot in front of the other to pay attention to the stories that unfolded. Many of my colleagues could tell real rip roaring tales. Maybe someday time will gel the unrecognized stories and I’ll say something about them. Thanks for your interest.
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brettbatten
July 26, 2012
Love your sense of humour.
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bronxboy55
July 30, 2012
Thanks, Brett. I started reading your blog, and it looks great. For what my opinion is worth, I think the writing is excellent.
http://brettbatten.com/
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brettbatten
August 1, 2012
That is a compliment coming from you. I am not a great storyteller, I merely have an unusual story.
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