I bought two chocolate bars last week as part of a school fundraiser. The money was going to pay for band equipment, or hockey gear, or a new flagpole. I don’t really know. The important thing was that I could buy candy and feel good about myself at the same time. Even better, it was the “world’s finest chocolate.” I knew that because it said so right on the wrapper. But halfway through the second bar, I realized there was nothing special about it. In fact, had I closed my eyes I might have thought I was eating one of those chocolate bunnies they sell at the dollar store, the kind that doesn’t seem to have a place of origin, but is purely the product of some global distribution system. Upon closer examination, I noticed that “World’s Finest Chocolate” was the name of the company. They’d skipped the unnecessary process of glowing reviews, word-of-mouth advertising, or industry awards. They had simply selected the reputation they wanted and decided to identify themselves accordingly. I was, at once, appalled and impressed. Maybe I should write a book and title it: Winner of the Pulitzer Prize.
The little chocolate adventure got me thinking. Are there rules for making promotional claims? How many brands insist they’re America’s Favorite or Europe’s Best? I went to a show last year that billed itself as The World’s Most Successful Musical. What does that mean? Longest running? Highest sales? Fewest sleeping audience members? Is it just a marketing ploy disguised as a self-fulfilling prophecy? If enough people believe it’s the world’s most successful musical, they’ll assume it must be pretty great and will purchase a ticket, and soon the claim becomes a fact.
By the way, the term self-fulfilling prophecy was coined by a sociologist named Robert Merton, who also created the term role model. This is useful information, in case you didn’t know.
* * * * *
There are things that go on in life, things that happen every day and everywhere, and yet to me they still don’t seem possible. The car radio. Not only can I hear people talking and singing while I’m driving, but I can turn a dial or push a button and hear different people talking and singing. I almost always despise what they’re saying and usually hate the music even more, but still, it’s pretty incredible. The zipper. Interlocking teeth smoothly joined or separated by a simple sliding piece of metal. Look closely the next time you zip up your jacket. Not so closely that you snag your face, but just enough to be amazed. Pickpockets. I have no experience with them, but I know they exist. I’ve read about them in every travel guide I’ve ever opened. Apparently, cities all over the world are crawling with skilled thieves who can locate and remove your wallet while you go on licking your ice cream cone or lining up another photograph of Aunt Louise in front of that cathedral. How can this be? It takes me five minutes to get my wallet out of my own pocket, and that’s only after I manage to find it. Talented pickpockets can acquire your watch, necktie, belt, and jewelry, all while you continue to gawk at the architecture or study the street map. They’re criminals, to be sure, but artistic ones.
* * * * *
What goes through the minds of factory workers in China as they crank out more junk for us to buy? Motorized back scratchers and scalp massagers. Robotic floor sweepers and trick birthday candles. Gadgets that help us crack eggs, slice fruit, brew coffee, and light a fire from the next county. Bigfoot lawn ornaments. Inflatable fruitcakes. Anatomical coffee mugs. Singing fish. The underpaid employees who make this stuff no doubt assume we’re all millionaires. And I guess, in a sense, we must be.
* * * * *
Sometimes when I’m going to sleep, I imagine that I’m in the car and trying to parallel park. I don’t intentionally think about this. It’s just my brain wandering off on its own. In real life, I rarely have trouble parallel parking, even if the space is tiny. But in my mind, things are different. The drivers of the vehicles I’m maneuvering between didn’t leave much room. As I back in, I can’t tell exactly how far I can go, and I usually end up gently tapping the car behind me. As I pull forward into the space, I have the same problem, because I can’t see how close I am to the car in front. You don’t always know until you make contact. And that’s how I developed part of my philosophy of driving: They’re called bumpers for a reason.
* * * * *
The planet Mercury is in retrograde. This means that it appears to be moving backward across the sky, an optical illusion that occurs several times each year. In truth, all of the planets are always orbiting in the same direction. But because Mercury is extremely close to the sun, it has to move faster in order to avoid being devoured and incinerated. That’s what produces the illusion. Imagine you’re running around an oval track and there’s a person directly across from you who’s moving at exactly your speed. Every time you looked over at the other runner, your relative positions would remain unchanged. But if he were running faster he’d eventually pass you, and at some point would be so far ahead that he’d seem to be going the other way. That’s what Mercury does as we look at it from Earth. If you could observe from outside the solar system, you’d notice that all of the planets are actually moving at constant speeds and in the same direction. And yet, we insist on assigning a universal meaning to our local perception. Very specific meaning, according to astrologers. This is typical:
“What happens when Mercury retrogrades? You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased is a lemon. …You hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out… There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements — but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don’t fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.”
Mercury will be in retrograde until April 4th, and will appear to fall into a backward path twice more this year, in July and November. Keep that in mind when your car radio goes silent, the zipper on your favorite pair of pants gets jammed, and you discover your wallet’s been stolen and you’ve gone to the dentist when you actually had an appointment with the chiropractor. In that case, I hope you have a chocolate bar within reach, and that it’s the world’s finest. Or, at the very least, America’s Favorite.
magsx2
March 27, 2012
Hi,
You are spot on about the advertising, the kids here in Australia sell exactly the same chocolate labeled “World’s Finest Chocolate” and it sounds like it tastes exactly the same as well. 😆
A motorized back scratcher, now that sounds good, I paid a whole $1 for my back scratcher, and no motor at all.
The talking fish, I can remember when they first came out on the market, my Father couldn’t wait to get one, it was a bit different than one in the video, a different song, I can’t remember exactly what song it was, but he loved it. 😀
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
I think there was a version of the singing fish with a different song, Mags. But I’m not going to mention the song because if I do, it’ll be stuck in my head for days, and I have many extremely important things I need to be thinking about.
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The Sandwich Lady
March 27, 2012
Finally, another thing to blame for a bad day. Mercury in retrograde…who knew? Now I can add it to the full moon as an excuse for my inadequacies.
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
Mark your calendar for August 2nd, Sandwich Lady. Mercury will be in retrograde and it’ll be a full moon. Might be a good time to take a sick day.
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MJ, Nonstepmom
March 27, 2012
I tend to not believe in all the astrology stuff, but cant say how many times people (& by that I mean the kids) are acting nutz and, sure enough, I find somethings in retrograde or theres a full moon….maybe they need a singing fish.
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
I don’t remember any sky-related pattern to the kids acting nuts — it’s always been pretty constant.
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Ashley
March 27, 2012
Many years ago, I remember “Worlds Finest” being a better chocolate than it is now…or maybe many years ago I was happy with any kind of chocolate – not sure which. Of course, it would be a lot finer if it were called “Godiva”. Now that’s a fundrasier I can get behind!
Mercury in retrograde? Life has been good here lately, so I guess it’s when Mercury is IN whack that I’m out of whack. So to speak.
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
I’m glad to hear life has been good, Ashley. I hope it stays that way.
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Barbara Rodgers
March 27, 2012
I think you should definitely title your book: *Winner of the Pulitzer Prize.* My husband has one of those biorhythm apps on his smart phone – we can’t believe how often we wind up consulting it when things seem to be going off on a tangent…
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
Bio-rhythms. I never thought of that — another factor to work into the mess.
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springfieldfem
March 27, 2012
Mercury in retrograde makes me crazy. It seems like everything goes nuts at work – no, correction, IT DOES. Amazing how that works out.
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
I’m surprised at how many people are even aware of Mercury’s comings and goings. I hope things calm down at work soon.
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springfieldfem
March 27, 2012
Oy vey – I work at a hospital and the whole thing about the full moon and babies and psychiatric patients – all true.
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charlywalker
March 27, 2012
from chocolate… zippers….to Astrology……Highly Versatile & Kreativ! The incredible thing is:
It all made perfect Blogsense to me.
I thought I was the only one Lost in Space….I pre-plot Mercury retro on my Desk Calender in Giant Red Font….
BPE! (Best Post Ever!)
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
No, I’ve been lost in space for quite a while now, CW. Thanks for the comment.
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
Oh, I just got the Kreativ reference. Thank you again.
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Nicky
March 27, 2012
There must be a company that says “we suck” somewhere around the globe, to compensate for all the great working from all the finest to be found. Or maybe they just go broke before we know of them.
Mercury’s fault that must be…
And did you knew that even zippers can’t fight against pickpocketeers!? No one’s safe anymore!
It was a great post, by the way.
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
Yeah, how do pickpockets deal with zippered pockets? Wouldn’t they have to know the zipper is there, and which way it zips? The mystery deepens.
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Diane Henders
March 27, 2012
I admit it. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pickpocket. I thought they were even cooler than magicians. After all, even as a kid, I knew the magicians were faking it. Faking it with skill and grace, but faking it nonetheless. A pickpocket, now that was the height of subtle artistry.
I gave up that ambition after trying it on my siblings a few times. In the first place, I always got caught. And in the second place, they never had anything worthwhile in their pockets. I guess that’s the second unsung skill of the pickpocket: deciding which pockets are worthwhile. Unless Mercury is retrograde, when all bets are off.
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
I’m not at all surprised to learn of your childhood ambition, Diane. It fits right in with all of those spy novels you’re written.
http://www.dianehenders.com/buy-books.html
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Diane Henders
March 28, 2012
Thanks for the link, Charles! 🙂
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O. Leonard
March 27, 2012
I have to agree with you on the difficulty of getting my own wallet out of my pocket. I have this one pair of pants that the wallet will go sideways in the pocket and you can’t get it over the lip of the pocket because the wallet is now expanding against the pocket. I think they’re pick-pocket proof, but I’ll have to test them. All I know is I look pretty stupid trying to get the thing at of my pocket at the checkout and I say something stupid, always, like “Guess the money doesn’t want to be spent. It’s putting up a pretty good fight.”
I always wonder about America’s “Best,” “Finest,” and in the case of Casinos, “Loosest Slots.” Nobody has ever asked me.
Great post.
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
There are some online videos of master pickpockets at work. It’s pretty scary.
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icedteawithlemon
March 27, 2012
What an entertaining, diverse read to start my morning! (How do you come up with this stuff?!) “Maybe I should write a book and title it: Winner of the Pulitzer Prize.” Maybe? I say go for it–it would be interesting to put the notion of a “self-fulfilling prophecy” to the test! (And now I’m left pondering a few prophetic possibilities of my own.) And I must admit that I’ve never contemplated the complexities of a zipper–but I will never take one for granted again, either.
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
I think the Pulitzer Prize Board might not appreciate the self-fulfilling prophecy test. Then again, my chances would probably be the same, either way.
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Jac
March 27, 2012
I feel like I’ve lived my whole life in retrograde. A wise man I once knew put it beautifully – “the hurrier I go, the behinder I get”. His grammar wasn’t always proper but I am declaring him the World’s Finest Philosopher.
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mimitabby
March 27, 2012
maybe when you were born Mercury WAS retrograde!
Mimi Torchia Boothby Watercolors
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bronxboy55
March 27, 2012
Jac, I think I knew that guy, too.
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mimitabby
March 27, 2012
I’m glad you brought up the chinese factory workers. What about the beautiful clothing and accessories for dolls??? what must they think of that? I often wonder this myself.
Merc RX, your description of it is great. One of the interesting phenomena that can occur during Merc Rx is your cat getting lost… and returning. I can see the cat taking the long way back around the ellipse, it looks like she’s lost but she’s just turning the corner!
Mimi Torchia Boothby Watercolors
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
I have indoor cats, Mimi. But now that you mention it, this past week they’ve both gotten trapped in the bathroom.
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Melinda (@findingthehumor)
March 27, 2012
I have a child that signs all papers she puts on the refrigerator “Favorite Daughter 2012” so there must be something about slapping on a boastful label. 🙂 I must be stuck in Mercury’s gravitational pull which explains why I can’t seem to get caught up these days. I’m looking forward to April 4th now.
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bronxboy55
March 28, 2012
It sounds as though your daughter won’t have any problem with self-promotion. I can’t wait to read her blog. Thanks, Melinda.
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Carol Deminski
March 27, 2012
I really laughed at that pick pocket cartoon. Good job. 🙂
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bronxboy55
March 29, 2012
I almost didn’t put that one in. Now I’m glad I did.
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worrywarts-guide-to-weight-sex-and-marriage
March 27, 2012
I have been questioning my choice of blog names lately, especially given the searh terms people use to end up there. The name has nothing to do with the content, but thanks to your insightful post, I think I now understand the decision making process behind my self-professed knowledge of weight, sex, and marriage.
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bronxboy55
March 29, 2012
I’m sure everyone who inadvertently ends up on your blog finds it to be a happy surprise. Thanks for the comment.
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buckwheatsrisk
March 27, 2012
Your dream about parallel parking is my reality…i don’t bump other vehicles, i just can’t see the distance between, i can not parallel park nor have i ever been able to…good thing they didn’t test me for it in my drivers test many years ago. on the few occasions, i have been able to do this, it is because my Hubby has talked me though it step by step…ha. As usual, i laughed my way through your mind!
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bronxboy55
March 29, 2012
I think parallel parking is one of those skills that you have to use frequently, or you get out of practice. If it’s been years, it can feel as though you’re doing it for the first time.
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buckwheatsrisk
March 29, 2012
it sure can! i sometimes get out of the drivers seat and let my Hubby park it…i just hate it!
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notesfromrumbleycottage
March 27, 2012
I remember parallel parking once and as I gently nudged someone’s car, she acted as if I hit it at 30 mph. I still have my parking skill, I just don’t use them as much.
Loved your post, as always.
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
When I took my driver’s test, we had to parallel park and get it right on the first try. It was like doing the triple axel in figure skating at the Olympics. And I’m pretty sure bumping one of the other cars was not acceptable.
Thanks for the comment, Rumbly.
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Sybil
March 27, 2012
Comment by: The world’s smartest, cutest, charmingest and witty-est commenter.
That “Hurrieder” quote was from Lewis Carol. (see — I AM smart — that or I did a Google search).
Next you’re going to tell us, Michael Jackson didn’t “moon walk” backwards … it was just a retrograde illusion !
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
You’re right, Sybil — the quote is from Lewis Carroll. I didn’t know that, and had to look it up.
I’m not sure about the moon walk, but it definitely looks like an illusion.
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ElizabethWolf
March 27, 2012
I was waiting for my husband in Macy’s yesterday. In the make-up section I saw ‘the best selling natural make-up palette in the world.’ Wow, I thought. Maybe I should get that. Then I turned the corner and saw a different brand that said, ‘the world’s best selling naked make-up palette.’
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
I think a lot of companies promote themselves with these hard-to-verify statements about their success, rather than getting themselves into trouble by making claims about the products’ actual effectiveness. Did the pronouncements about the two make-up palettes cancel each other out?
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ElizabethWolf
March 31, 2012
They did…so I didn’t buy either of them!
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Deanna
March 27, 2012
Does your recurring dream mean you are secretly worried about being the world’s worst parallel parker? I do find it funny how uptight we are in North America about the nudging of the bumpers, whereas in Europe hitting the car in front and back of you is standard parking etiquette. If you were born in London, you would have a totally different recurring dream – oh, the possibilities!
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
I wish people would be more careful about not letting their shopping carts roll into cars in the parking lot at the supermarket. A tiny scratch in the bumper isn’t even noticeable, but that dent in the driver’s door is annoying — and unnecessary.
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Nectarfizz
March 27, 2012
I may get booed at and hissed upon, but the worlds best chocolate resides in the UK, damn them. When I got to England I was told American chocolate is not as good as elsewhere in the world. I was incensed and determined to prove them all wrong. I even brought American chocolate with me on the trip to prove my point. The problem came in when I actually tried English chocolate. BAM. I was completely at a loss to explain to my American candy bars how I was taken in by some other chocolate. I can only admit that it transported me to a place I have never been chocolate-wise. The biggest threat being that of the Crunchie bar. OMG. That candy bar was so good I licked the wrapper and looked for crumbs. M (my loving and often smirking counterpart of love) simply smiled and asked me why I was attempting to lick my face in case there were any residual bits of flavor left on my cheeks, nose or esophagus (I was taking no chances here). I refused to admit I liked it but could not hold out for long, he was after all holder of the car keys and bank card, once I admitted defeat he went on to use my new addiction to get me to do all manner of awful and torturous things (like walking 2 hours a night for a candy bar reward the pirate!)
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Sandra Parsons
March 29, 2012
If you think English chocolate is the best you can get, you should try German or Swiss chocolate. Lightyears above, no kidding. But I have to agree in that American (I should probably say US American) is even worse than English chocolate. And despite the fact that my standards are generally not very high when it comes to food, I’d say it’s literally unpalatable when you’ve grown up on Milka.
Just sayin’
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Nectarfizz
March 30, 2012
Oh, I’ve had German and Swiss. I don’t let myself indulge in those. They often taste sinful. LOL With English chocolate I have plausible deniability. I still find the Crunchie bar is my favorite, but I drool for European chocolate too.
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
I’ve been to London, Bekki, but don’t think I tried the chocolate. Now I feel as though I missed something great, and may have to go back. Still, I don’t believe you can really lick your own esophagus.
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bronxboy55
March 31, 2012
Sandra, I’d never heard of Milka, but I just found out it’s available in Canada. I’ll look for it and let you know what I think. Thanks.
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Nectarfizz
March 31, 2012
“Still, I don’t believe you can really lick your own esophagus.”..I dunno, have you tried? lol
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souldipper
March 27, 2012
Trust you, Charles, to snag the only Psychoanalytically Therapeutic Bass in the Maritimes. Now everyone will want one and how are you going to find time to write? You won’t even care, you’ll be so happy!
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
Actually, Amy, if I never hear that song again, I’ll be a lot happier.
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Lino Althaner
March 27, 2012
I guess a high percentage of the chocolate people eat is cocoa free. Chocolate free, if you prefer. Succedaneous, substitutes, imitations. Perhaps The World Finest Chocolate enters in that category. We must not innocently stay in the big words that tell us what the product is NOT, but pay attention to the very small worlds, like in an insurance policy. Unless they are written with invisible ink. Let´s take it lightly, unless it is not so. Thank you for the post.
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
It was that word Finest that I fell for.
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oneenglishteacher
March 27, 2012
I think you might be onto something with the book title.
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
I’d be surprised if it hasn’t already been tried.
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Snoring Dog Studio
March 28, 2012
My guess is that the Chinese think we’re awfully stupid, frivolous and have a lot of money to waste. Just wait till we start making crap here in our own U.S. of A. We’ll show them.
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
They must think us frivolous, but at the same time, they have to appreciate us, too. Who else in the world would buy this stuff?
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She's a Maineiac
March 28, 2012
So sorry, Charles, I’ve already stolen Winner of the Pulitzer Prize for my next blog post title. I need all the help I can get.
I am constantly amazed at my zipper and how it never fails to get stuck so I can panic and hyperventilate with the possibility I might be trapped in my jacket for an eternity.
Excellent post, as usual!
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
But every once in a while, a zipper will do that weird thing where as it zips up, it unzips everything behind it. You end up with the zipper all the way at the top, but still completely unzipped. That’s a great way to waste a half hour, or more.
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Betty Londergan
March 28, 2012
Charles, as I’m sitting here drinking seriously bad coffee (no doubt, Peru’s BEST!) and freezing to death in Pasco, at 15,000 feet, you made me laugh out loud. I love your appreciation of the small daily miracles of life — and btw, you are quite right to be in awe of pickpockets. I was in Venice years ago on a boat and just before it pulled into the dock, I felt a small tug on my purse and grabbed this guy’s arm and held on before he could remove my wallet. I was really proud of myself, until my husband insisted upon pickpocketing my wallet every single chance he got, just to prove he could (he’s a tiny bit competitive). Actually, he was pretty good at it! Love your writing and can’t wait for your Winner of the Booker Award tome, since She’s a Maineiac apparently already has stolen the Pulitzer.
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bronxboy55
April 2, 2012
What an amazing life you lead, Betty. I’d give anything to be in Peru right now, no matter how bad the coffee is. Thanks for your ongoing support.
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Stacie Chadwick
March 28, 2012
I actually sold “World’s Finest Chocolate” candy bars when I was a kid (in this case, for new band equipment), and I loved them. Of course, I’m a slave to anything containing sugar or salt, so the bar is set kind of low. I’m now going to re-title my blog thanks to you… “World’s Finest Gemini Girl in a Random World Blog.” That is soooooo catchy.
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
The chocolate really was pretty good. It’s just that calling something “World’s Finest” raises expectations somewhat.
Eventually my blogroll will be filled with just the name of your blog.
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Stacie Chadwick
April 4, 2012
Now THAT would be an honor. =)
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writingfeemail
March 28, 2012
I didn’t get my wallet lifted in Italy but I got a fairly lengthy butt pinch/massage on the Metro. Signed: Winner of Friday’s Mega Millions Drawing. Fulfill me prophecy!
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
I think for men in Italy, the butt pinch is just their version of talking about the weather. And can I assume you didn’t win the lottery?
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Just Outside the Box Cartoon
March 28, 2012
..and may the mighty Robert Merton RIP. I mean, where would all us wanna be’s be without the glimmering hope of the notion of the self fulfilling prophecy (the positive kind)…Marti.
PS. We should all take 1 minute of remembrance on 4th July – the day Robert was born.
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
Glimmering hope, yes, but the self-fulfilling prophecy can go in either direction, I would think.
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Strings 'n Things
March 28, 2012
I’m always buying some “world’s finest chocolate” to support my grandchildren’s school- and it doesn’t taste very good! I liked your talk of parallel parking– I will walk several blocks to avoid parallel parking.
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
Apparently, that chocolate is sold everywhere. I had no idea.
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rangewriter
March 29, 2012
World’s finest chocolate hasn’t even been thought of in the States or UK…It springs from the kitchens of Belgium, I’m sure of it.
Pick pocket…I still want to be one. Matter of fact, every now and then, standing behind someone with an easy target, I have to slap my hands away cuz I want so badly to try lifting without being caught. But, I’m not clever enough, every time I’ve even thought about it I get caught thinking.
Do you suppose a seasoned pickpocket can pick the bra off Dolly without getting caught?
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
There are videos online of pickpockets removing ties and belts, but I’d imagine the bra would be a little too ambitious.
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Sandra Parsons
March 29, 2012
It’s quite funny, just the other day I had a chat with my other half about a property shop that boasted the slogan ‘You’ve tried the rest, now come to the best’. My argument was that ‘the best’ could relate to so many things, including makes most profit, which, according to my logic, would mean you don’t get the best deals there. Love the fact that you picked up on the issue.
Oh, and I adore the Robert What’s-his-name-again cartoon. “Role model for forgotten geniuses”, hahaha!!!
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bronxboy55
April 4, 2012
I’ve seen that “Rest-Best” slogan on take-out boxes from dozens of different pizza places. It’s a claim anyone can make without having to justify it, which really removes all meaning from the word, best, or any other superlative.
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bittinger
March 30, 2012
Thank you so much, Charles, for divulging the identity of Robert Merton. When I woke up this morning I was thinking “I wonder what ever became of Mcaulay Culken, the Home Alone kid. I haven’t heard of him since, I wonder if he’s sitting at home alone waiting for his agent to call.” And my mind wandered into self-fulfilling prophecy and I wondered who had invented/identified them. Now I know. Now I can get back to sleep, although I won’t try for another 17 hours it’s good to know that this conundrum has been settled.
I too am amazed by the zipper. Such a complicated, precise, little machine. and I’m so glad that Gideon Sundback did not decide to name the device after himself.
A fellow I used to work with (a heavy set, unkempt looking fellow with a scraggly beard and yellow teeth) defeated pickpockets by keeping his wallet in the front of his underwear. This tended to draw admiring looks from the ladies and had the benefit of getting him free meals at the restaurant: he’d reach down his pants and pull out his wallet and the clerk would scrunch her nose, hold up her hand and say, “That’s OK, it’s on me today.”
Some people count sheep to get to sleep, Charles counts parallel parking attempts. Interesting. I wonder what a therapist would say about that.
Maybe Mercury is trying to back into a parking space too… bringing about celestial havoc just as when city motorist refuse to allow you room to back into your chosen parking space.
Thanks for the giggles this morning Charles. I can always count on you,
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bronxboy55
April 5, 2012
I never thought to find out who the inventor of the zipper was, so thanks for doing that. It really is an amazing little piece of technology. I appreciate the comment, as always, Allan.
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MissMeddle
March 30, 2012
Charles? Did you buy a car that turned out to be a lemon???
Cheers 🙂
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bronxboy55
April 5, 2012
Not that I know of, MM. At least it hasn’t turned into a lemon yet.
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Val
April 1, 2012
I can’t parrallel walk (or spell)…
I remember the singing fish. Billy Bass wasn’t it? But did you ever see the Fish on a Volvo vid? Cracks me up every time.
I don’t think we have the world’s or the UK’s or even the Welsh’s finest chocolate here, unfortunately, trade name or no.
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bronxboy55
April 5, 2012
I’d never seen that video, Val. Thank you.
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caroerasmus
April 3, 2012
Hi again!
Life has been so work-work-work that I haven’t had time to read (or write!) in quite a while… Excellent post. Had me in stitches, as usual :).
Check my latest one – it’s about the strange voices in the radio you speak of :P.
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bronxboy55
April 5, 2012
I’m glad you found a little break from the work-work-work. Thanks for the comment, and for letting me know about your recent post — I liked it, especially the last few paragraphs:
http://caroerasmus.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/of-car-tunes-and-compromise/
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Arindam
April 4, 2012
I also have no experience with Pickpockets. But let me tell you that they exist, at least in my part of world. as many of my friends experienced them.
For me the last part of this post was best. One more excellent post from your keyboard Sir Charles. 🙂
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bronxboy55
April 5, 2012
I’m glad you’ve had no experience with pickpockets, Arindam. I’m sure they exist all over the world — wherever there are people with money, there will be others who want to take it.
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dearrosie
April 5, 2012
Oh my word my Mr F had one of those singing fish which I happily threw out when we moved here.
What a disappointment to bite into something that claims to be the “Worlds Finest chocolate” and discover it’s disgusting…
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bronxboy55
April 9, 2012
I wouldn’t say it’s disgusting. It just doesn’t live up to the hype, and the name.
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Marie M
April 8, 2012
Help! My son and I tried to act out your instructions about the oval track and the two runners. We had to do it in relatively slow motion, of course, but even though we were able to have the faster of us pass the slower, we couldn’t get anywhere near having the faster one appear to be moving backwards.
Do you think we just have to speed things up and we’d see it, or can you offer another example? Maybe you can suggest a website on which we can see it simulated (I’m not sure what to search for), perhaps along the lines of that illusion of the circles that are themselves arranged in a circle, which seems to make them actually revolve around the center. Know the one I mean?
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bronxboy55
April 9, 2012
Imagine you’re both on one of the long, straight sides of the track. You and the faster runner are going in the same direction. Now have the other runner zip around the curved end and onto the other straight side. (You’re still on the original side.) The other runner now seems to be going in the opposite direction.
This animation appears to be technical, but if you watch it just for the relative motion, I think you’ll see the effect. It’s intended to show the movement of Mercury as seen from the Earth:
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