There are double standards and there are Double Standards. (I suppose there are also DOUBLE STANDARDS, but I don’t feel like thinking that hard right now.) I’m just talking about the small things that indicate we have separate rules for men and women. These are not the equal-pay-for-equal-work issues. These are the things that, in the middle of an attack by an alien race from another galaxy, would not even cross our minds. But absent such an attack, they are at least curiosities. Here’s one.
It’s almost Father’s Day. Flyers and radio ads are again flooding our senses, trying to convince us that what men really want is a new power tool. You see, we’ve needed a circular saw for almost a year now, but the lumber remains uncut because we just didn’t think, hey, I need a saw, I don’t have one, and maybe I should go to the hardware store and buy one. Instead we thought, I’ll just wait until next June and ask for it for Father’s Day. On the other hand, I could really use a new 104-piece socket set. (The set I have now has only 87 pieces. Eddie next door got a 95-piece set for his birthday last month and he’s been rubbing it in ever since.) And pliers! I’d love some new pliers. And you know, that cordless drill is fine, but the battery is dead after an hour. Those new ones hold a charge for up to three hours!
It was only a few weeks ago that we celebrated Mother’s Day. The special gifts for that special Mom included a day at the spa, flowers, scented candles, books, cameras, watches, and jewelry. Men were reminded — by sheer omission — that giving their wives food processors or kitchen towels could result in sudden and severe bodily harm. But somehow, it’s all right to give a man a leaf blower, a belt sander, or a hedge trimmer. (“You’re the greatest, Dad. Here’s a new lawnmower. Now go cut the grass.”)
I don’t know when things changed, or how. At one time, men got a new tie for Father’s Day. If they were extra good, they got two new ties. Now we get tools. This is probably just my suspicious nature, but I think we’ve been tricked. We would never dare expect our wives to polish the floors on Mother’s Day. Yet we tear the gift wrap off the new hand tool and rush outside to find some hard-to-reach bolts we can tighten.
The aliens are obviously smarter. They get to fly around to other galaxies in new spaceships, shooting ray guns and abducting people. Now that’s what I call an advanced civilization. Most important, there’s no double standard: female aliens are an integral part of these missions, and often lead them. We could be attacked and enslaved tomorrow, transformed into pathetic drones forced to carry out the will of hideous space creatures. Yet here we sit, listening to the radio and reading our Father’s Day flyers.
I wonder how long the charge lasts on those ray guns.
Amiable Amiable
June 13, 2010
My husband had a pretty nice tool set that he kept down in the basement, and then one of our cats peed on it. I’m suspicious Do you suppose he trained the cat to do that? I’m concerned about his ties now.
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bronxboy55
June 13, 2010
If you’re trying to get me to reveal one of the sacred Man Secrets, you’re knocking on the wrong door, lady.
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absurdoldbird
July 2, 2010
Mmm… nice post!
A few weeks ago, I went with my husband to the local hardware store, and I saw a set of spanners. I really couldn’t get over how great those spanners looked. They really absorbed my attention. Then I saw the price. £8 for a set of four – albeit large – spanners. Seemed very pricey. But then they were special edition spanners. Er, special edition spanners, what are they? You may be asking. What’s so special about spanners? You put then round a nut and turn them.
Ah, but I’m a woman and these were in a special colour finish. They were all different colours in each one, shiny metallic pink and lilac and blue and yellow!
I went home without them but the next time Bruce went out to the shop, I asked to come too. “If they’re there, I’ve got to have those spanners.”
Well, I have them now. I keep meaning to photograph and blog about them, but I’ve not taken them out of their packaging yet…
So, is this is kind of female and male stereotypes in one!
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bronxboy55
July 2, 2010
I had no idea what spanners were until the last line of your first paragraph. On this side of the water, we call them “wrenches.” Well, now I can’t wait to see them either! Where are the photos?
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absurdoldbird
July 19, 2010
Where are the photos? In my head still…
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Val Erde
October 13, 2010
The post! The post on spanners (aka wrenches)! It’s here!
At last! You sigh.
(Didn’t you?)
😉
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bronxboy55
October 14, 2010
I did. Thanks, Val. I’m heading over there right now.
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